2018 Comic Strips - Page 30
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Character
Wednesday October 17,
2018
Copersons
Thursday October 18,
2018
You Have To Work Hard To Succeed
Tags Dilbert, the boss, Wally, work, hard, single, day, years, succeed, topic
Transcript
The Boss: If you want to succeed, you have to work hard every single day for years. Dilbert: That sounds awful. You just talked me out of wanting to succeed. Did you work that hard to get where you are? The Boss: Next topic!
Friday October 19,
2018
Yelling At Tina
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, tina, information, requested, disappointment, normal, tone, voice, yelling
Transcript
The Boss: Tina says you yelled at her for not having the information you requested. Incorrect. I expressed my disappointment with a normal tone of voice. The Boss: Stop yelling at me!!! Dilbert: I no longer know what "yelling" means.
Saturday October 20,
2018
When Will Ted By Done
Tags Dilbert, the boss, test, data, ted, working, done, range
Transcript
The Boss: When will I get the test data? Dilbert: I don't know Ted is working on that. The Boss: When do you think he will be done? Dilbert: I know. I'm not Ted. The Boss: Just give me a range. Dilbert: Between one day and seven-hundred years.
Sunday October 28,
2018
Tags Dilbert, the boss, customer, meeting, engineers, years, disasters, worry, data, centers, blockchain
Transcript
Dilbert: Can I go with you to the customer meeting? I'm worried you might promise something we can't deliver. The Boss: Don't be ridiculous! I've been having customer meetings without engineers for years. Dilbert: I know and they all turn into disasters. The Boss: You worry too much! Everything will be fine! Man: Can you replace our data centers with blockchain? The Boss: Give us two days.
Sunday November 04,
2018
Tags Advice, business, criticism, employment, managers & supervisors, office workers
Transcript
Asok: I'm thinking of getting a degree in business and moving onto the management track. Is it fun being a boss? Boss: It's the best! I haven't done anything hard since the day I got this job. I mostly just criticize idiots all day long. It's as if the company is paying me to do my hobby. Speaking of pay, my salary is about triple your pay. Asok: Is there any downside? Boss: I had a lot of guilt at first. Asok: It must have been awful. Boss: Yes, it was the longest ten minutes of my life.
Monday October 22,
2018
Catbert Personality Test
Tags Catbert, applicants, personality, test, reliable, Astrology, reliability
Transcript
Catbert: All job applicants must take the Catbert personality test to see how well they will fit into our culture. Studies show the test is twice as reliable as using astrology alone. Man: Astrology has zero reliability. Catbert: You're not a good fit.
Tuesday October 23,
2018
Award For Cutting Costs
Tags ceo, award, cutting, costs, department, underfunded, losers, awards, help
Transcript
CEO: I am proud to give you this award for cutting costs more than any other department. Dilbert: All of our projects failed because they are underfunded. CEO: How do you put up with these losers? The Boss: The awards help.
Wednesday October 24,
2018
Inadequate Explanations
Tags Dilbert, the boss, decision, project, boss, input, situation, usual, nothing
Transcript
Dilbert: Have you made a decision on my project yet? The Boss: No, but I asked my boss for his input. Dilbert: Did you inadequately explain the situation as usual? The Boss: Maybe. Dilbert: Thanks for all the nothing.
Thursday October 25,
2018
Idiots Don't Know They Are Idiots
Tags the boss, alice, ted talk, idiots, dumb, career, change, smart, possible, speak
Transcript
The Boss: I watched a Ted talk yesterday about how idiots don't know they are dumb. Alice: For the sake of my career, I hope you change the subject as soon as possible. The Boss: Did you know idiots believe they are smart? Alice: Must... Not... Speak...


