2019 Comic Strips - Page 30
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Character
Tuesday October 15,
2019
Practice Makes Perfect
Tags #managers & supervisors, #practice, #estimate, #errors, #business, #incorrect
Transcript
boss: how can i trust your estimate when you have been wrong every other time? wally: practice makes perfect boss: um... boss thinking: i just realized i don't know how anything works.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday October 16,
2019
Slippery Slope
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #slippery, #slope, #approval, #database, #cosmetic, #surgery, #insult
Transcript
dilbert: can i take this database class? boss: no, that's a slippery slope. if i approve that class, next you will demand i pay for cosmetic surgery. dilbert: do i look like i need it? boss: only in two places - your face and your body
Thursday October 17,
2019
Filled Bathtub To The Attic
Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #bathtub, #home, #weekend, #water, #attic, #chimney
Transcript
boss: i forgot i was filling my bathtub and went away for the weekend. now my house is full of water all the way to the attic. i don't know what to do. wally: try putting a hose in the chimney and sucking.
Friday October 18,
2019
Wally Has Skills
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #performance, #review, #robot, #design, #skills
Transcript
boss: wally, your performance is substandard. wally: give me a great performance review, or else i'll design a robot that will take your job. boss: you could do that? wally: i have the skills. i just don't like to use them.
Saturday October 19,
2019
Dilbert Is Bad At Reading Faces
Tags #business, #office workers, #psychology, #over sleeping, #pancakes, #hungry
Transcript
dilbert: i'm not good at reading faces. what does that one mean? man: it means i'm mad at myself for over sleeping and having to rush to work, so i hate your guts. dilbert: oh. i was guessing it was something about pancakes. probably because i'm hungry.
Monday October 21,
2019
Busy To Mentor
Tags #business, #criticism, #managers & supervisors, #mentor, #busy
Transcript
boss: i'm sorry i've been too busy to mentor you lately. dilbert: were you mentoring me before? boss: kind of. i was criticizing you in my mind. dilbert: i think it made me a better person.
Tuesday October 22,
2019
Best Employees
Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #best, #office workers, #industry, #attitude
Transcript
boss: we have the best employees in the entire industry. except for ted obviously. ted: wait...what? boss: and here comes the attitude.
Wednesday October 23,
2019
Body Language Fail
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #body language, #fail, #deny, #psychology, #monster
Transcript
female office worker: i can tell by your body language that you want me to fail. dilbert: why would i want you to fail? female: you're not denying it!!! dilbert: well, now i want you to fail. female yelling: you're a monster!
Thursday October 24,
2019
Project Update
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #project, #update, #plan, #read, #imaginary
Transcript
boss: did you send me your project update? dilbert: were you planning to read it? boss: no dilbert: then i totally sent it too you boss thinking: half of my job is imaginary
Friday October 25,
2019
Work Life Balance
Tags #business, #interviewee, #interview, #employer, #company, #healthy, #work, #life, #balance, #victim
Transcript
boss: tell me what you are looking for in an employer interviewee in suit: i want a company that appreciates a healthy work-life balance. boss: you have a bit of a victim vibe interviewee: i was hoping that didn't show