Asok Comic Strips - Page 30

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View 291 - 300 results for Asok comic strips. Discover the best "Asok" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags processor load, took advice, laser pointers, light sabers

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Dilbert points to a slide and says, "Our breakthrough came when we distributed the processor load." The Boss, Asok, and Alice are sitting. Asok raises his arms and exclaims, "It's about time that you took my advice! Hallelujah! Good for you!" Dilbert says, "If laser pointers were light sabers, you'd be looking for your torso." Asok responds, "Ha ha! You're using my joke! Good one!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags smarter not harder, important looking document, pretend to be angry, avoid people, more problems, shirt toothpaste color, smells minty

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Asok walks into Wally's cubicle and says, "Wally, can you teach me to work smarter, not harder?" Wally reaches for a stack of papers and says, "Grab an important-looking document and follow me." As they're walking, Wally says, "Walk briskly and pretend to be angry about what you're reading." Asok makes a mean face and says, "Grrrr." A co-worker approaches Wally and Asok and says, "Hey, Asok, would you help me...?" Wally and Asok both stare at their papers and say, "Grrrr." The co-worker continues, "Never mind." Wally says to Asok, "As a rule, people try to avoid anyone who has more problems than they do." Wally continues, "Lesson two: make sure your shirt and your toothpaste are the same color." Wally points to his shirt and says, "This baby is covered with toothpaste stains, but you'd never know it." Asok exclaims, "Wow!" Wally continues, "And how often do you need to launder a shirt that smells minty?" Asok exclaims, "Never!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags eye contact, unpackageable, generous severence, volunteers, retired bliss, cruel twist fate, keep job, organic vessel, self pity, fishing, Sports

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Asok and Dilbert are walking down the hall. Dilbert warns, "Uh-oh... don't make eye contact with that guy." Asok asks, "Why not?" Dilbert explains, "Ernie is unpackageable." Dilbert continues, "Last year, the company offered a generous severance package to people who volunteered to leave." Dilbert continues, "Ernie volunteered. He imagined a life of retired bliss outside this company." Dilbert continues, "But too many people volunteered. In a cruel twist of fate, Ernie was forced to keep his job." Dilbert continues, "Now he's nothing but an organic vessel for transporting self- pity." Ernie runs up to Asok and Dilbert and cries, "I could have been fishing!!! Waaa!!!" Alice, Asok, and Dilbert are sitting together. Asok's hair is standing straight up and he still has a panicked expression on his face. Alice asks, "You looked?" Dilbert responds, "I tried to warn him."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags power to become invisible, sit home, get paid, Wally, boss, hiding

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Wally and Asok are eating lunch. Wally says, "Long term, I hope to convince our boss that I have the power to become invisible." Wally continues, "Then I can just sit home and get paid. Oh, it will be sweet." The Boss is sitting at his desk, he looks scared. He asks, "Wally? Is that you?" Wally is hiding behind The Boss' chair. Wally replies, "Right in front of you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags job not stimulating, togers, toger meat, analogy, zebra

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Asok says to The Boss, "My job is not stimulating my mind." Asok continues, "If you want to have tigers, you must feed them tiger meat." Asok adds, "But that is only an analogy. Please do not make me eat a zebra."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conincidences, ell phones, ring, emergency, crisis, meetings, people leave

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The Boss is about to start a meeting. Wally, Dilbert, Asok, and Alice's cell phones all ring simultaneously. Wally says into his phone, "Emergency, you say?" Dilbert asks into his phone, "Crisis?" The Boss is alone in the conference room. He thinks, "I'm losing my faith in coincidences."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags senior management knows, key employees, hard imes, bonuses, black mailing themselves, sound bad, huge retention

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "Senior management knows they need to retain key employees during hard times." The Boss continues, "That's why they're giving themselves huge retention bonuses." Alice responds, "So, they're blackmailing themselves?" The Boss says, "You can make anything sound bad."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags clammy offcie, all clammy, hands are clammy, underpants

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The Boss is in his office. He thinks, with a panicked expression on his face, "It's not just my desk; it's the chair, too!" The Boss stops Dilbert in the hallway and says, "Dilbert, come here!" The Boss leads Dilbert into his office and says, "Everything in my office feels clammy." The Boss continues, "I first noticed when I touched my phone.. then my mouse." The Boss says, "All clammy." He pauses and then asks, "What could it mean?" Dilbert responds, "It could mean your hands are clammy." Dilbert walks away whistling. The Boss calls after him, "You must never speak of this." At a meeting, Wally turns to The Boss and asks, "Have you ever noticed that everything you sit on feels like underpants?" Dilbert looks away guiltily.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employee of year, awrd, better luck, next year, jealousy, unattractive

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The Boss stands at a podium and says, "The 'Employee of the Year' Award goes to.. no one." The Boss' voice continues, "Thanks for coming. Better luck next year." Dilbert and Wally are walking out. Dilbert says, "It's not as bad as the time that you won it." Wally responds, "Jealousy is unattractive."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags budget request, priority, highest priority, mockery, low priority

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Asok: What is the priority of your budget request? Alice: Highest of the high. Asok: everyone rated their own budget needs "Highest Priority" It is a mockery f the priority system! Asok: Name one thing that everyone would agree is a low priority. Alice: whatever you're doing.