Wally Comic Strips - Page 30
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1000 Results for Wally
View 291 - 300 results for Wally comic strips. Discover the best "Wally" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday May 19,
1995
Tags assets ratio, boost, security department, brisk redcution, joking, den
Transcript
The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We need to boost our return-on-assets ratio." Wally says, "Let's eliminate the security department. That would cut expenses while allowing for a brisk reduction in assets." As they walk away, Dilbert asks Wally, "When are you planning to tell him you were joking?" Wally responds, "After I furnish my den."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday May 22,
1995
Tags policy, employ best, technical professionals, industry average, bright, clueless, feel sorry
Transcript
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our policy is to employ only the BEST technical professionals." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question." Dilbert asks, "Isn't it also our policy to base salaries on the 'industry AVERAGE?'" The Boss answers, "Right. We like them bright but clueless." Wally says, "I feel sorry for people like that."
Friday June 02,
1995
Tags wally hat, safety rule, email, human resources, short ep, lyees, visibilty, aluminum foil pants, business
Transcript
Dilbert sees Wally wearing a hat with a triangular flag or pennant attached. Dilbert asks, "What's the hat for, Wally?" Wally answers, "It's a new safety rule. I think it's stupid." Wally says, "The e-mail from human resources said all short employees must wear these to improve visibility while in the cubicle aisles." Dilbert peers into Alice's cubicle. He says to her, "HR should change their password once in a while." Alice says, "I'll bet we can make him wear aluminum foil pants."
Sunday June 04,
1995
Tags attractive product, another vendor, stupid deciosn, careers ruined, contract, loyal employees, million units, nice raises
Transcript
Wally and Dilbert at a conference table with a vendor. Dilbert looks at a product and says, "Your company makes an attractive little product, Jim." Dilbert hands the unit back to Jim. Dilbert says, "But we've decided to go with a vendor whose product actually works." Jim stands up suddenly, causing Dilbert's tie to fly straight up. Jim screams, "Fools!!! I'll crush you!!!" Jim continues, "I'll tell your boss you made a stupid decision!! Your careers will be ruined and I'll get the contract anyway!!" Wally says, "You can't scare us! Do you think our boss will believe a vendor over his own loyal employees?" Wally and Dilbert cross their arms and think, "Must . . . keep . . . a . . . straight . . . face . . ." Wally, Dilbert and Jim erupt in laughter. Dilbert says, "We'll take a million units." Jim says, "Take two million and I'll see that you get nice raises."
Monday June 05,
1995
Tags transfer, department, dysfunctional organization, love and support, long distant, fax room, resume, complete jerk
Transcript
Wally sits in a chair across from a manager's desk. The manager asks, "Why do you want to transfer to my department, Wally?" Wally responds, "I'm in a dysfunctional organization. I'm not getting the love and support I need. That's why I've been making long-distance personal calls from the fax room." The manager says, "Your resume says every boss you've had was a complete jerk." Wally responds, "So, when do I start?"
Tuesday June 06,
1995
Tags renewed psychologist, peak performance, relative, dysfunctional team, realistic goals, postpone canibalsim
Transcript
The Boss, Wally, Dilbert, Dogbert and Alice sit around a conference table. The Boss says, "I hired renowned psychologist Dogbert to help us achieve peak performance in teamwork." Dogbert says, "Peak performance is somewhat relative. You're a highly dysfunctional team, so we must set realistic goals." The Boss asks, "What would be a realistic goal for us?" Dogbert answers, "I think I can postpone cannibalism."
Wednesday June 07,
1995
Tags dysfunctional team, admore, vocalize admiration, leathery skin, right from left, get paid, admire co workers
Transcript
The Boss, Dogbert, Dilbert, Alice and Wally sit at a round table. Dogbert says, "I'd like everybody to turn to the right and say what you admire about that person." The Boss turns to Alice, who is on his left, and says, "I admire your leathery skin, Alice." Alice responds, "I admire your ability to figure out which side is your RIGHT in only two tries." Dilbert faces Dogbert on his right and says, "I admire your ability to get paid for this." Wally says to Dilbert, "Despite the fact your face scares children, I admire your co-workers."
Thursday June 08,
1995
Tags team building exercise, paper dolls, blindfolded, cognitive dissonance, learned something, cry and hug
Transcript
Dogbert, Dilbert, Alice, Wally and the Boss sit at a round table. Dogbert says, "In this team-building exercise you will make paper dolls while blindfolded." Dogbert continues, "This may seem absurd. But soon, cognitive dissonance will set in and you'll cry and hug and think you learned something." The members of the group, now blindfolded and working with scissors, begin their work. As he is about to cut his hand with the scissors, Dilbert asks, "Are you sure we'll cry and hug?" Dogbert answers, "Actually, hugging is iffy."
Saturday June 10,
1995
Tags increase budget, training, leave the company, more money, competitor, down side
Transcript
Wally stands in front of the Boss's desk. Wally demands, "You've got to increase the budget for training!" The Boss responds, "If I train you, then wouldn't you just leave the company to make more money working for our competitor?" Wally says, "I guess there is a downside." The Boss asks, "And the downside would be . . . ?"
Sunday June 11,
1995
Tags three day workshop, sahring, form teams, paper airplanes, blindfolded, flight, unconditional love, co workers, accountants, marketers, secreatries, competitive lion, workload, eraser pilot, group hug
Transcript
An instructor stands at the front of a room and says, "Let's go around the circle and share what we learned in the three-day workshop." Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit together. Wally says, "At first I thought it was a waste of our training budget . . ." Wally says, "Then you asked us to form teams and make paper airplanes while blindfolded . . ." Wally turns to Dilbert and says, "I don't know if it was because of the darkness or the way we shared our thoughts about flight . . ." Wally says, "But suddenly I found unconditional love for my co-workers. Be they accountants, be they marketeers or be they secretaries." Wally stands on his chair and says, "As a result, I've become a competitive lion, eager to pounce on my workload and increase stockholder values!!" The instructor says, "Thank you, Wally. Dilbert, what did you learn?" Dilbert says, "I learned that you shouldn't put a little eraser-pilot in your paper airplane." Wally says, "Somebody needs a group hug."

