Long Nose Comic Strips - Page 30
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433 Results for Long Nose
View 291 - 300 results for long nose comic strips. Discover the best "Long Nose" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday April 23,
2011
Tags announcements, committee decided, file naming, month, year, day, space, temperature, airport, hat size, long meeting, best work
Transcript
Ted: The committee decided that the file naming convention will start with the date, in the order of month, year, day... then a space, then the temperature at the airport, and the hat size of the nearest squirrel. To be perfectly honest, it was a long meeting and we probably didn't do our best work toward the end.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday April 30,
2011
Tags apathy, telephones, get tech support, audio menu, tech support, user manuals, hate customers, apathy thing
Transcript
Dogbert: I researched how long your customers will stay on the phone trying to get tech support before giving up. Then I designed an audio menu tree that will take them slightly longer than that to reach your tech support. I've seen your user manuals and I assume that you hate your customers' guts. Boss: It's more of an apathy thing.
Saturday July 16,
2011
Tags customer survey data, marketing, design, engineering secret, business
Transcript
The customer survey data is for marketing eyes only. design the next release and we'll tell you if its what everyone wanted. How long will it take? Dilbert: Thats an engineering secret.
Monday September 05,
2011
Tags anxiety, stress, creative, ethical shortcuts, less honest, questions, uncomfortable, job interview
Transcript
Interview Alice: Are you creative? Man: Oh, yes. I'm very creative. Alice: Research tells us that creative people take ethical shortcuts and are generally less honest. Man: Ooh. Alice: Do you take a long time to do things? Man: I don't know the right answer!
Tuesday September 06,
2011
Tags office workers, job interview, work long hours, 14 hour days, bad descions, bad decision maker, good communicator
Transcript
Interview Alice: Can you work long hours if needed? Man: Yes. It's normal for me to work 14 hours a day. Alice: Research shows that working long hours causes people to make bad decisions. So we know you're a bad decision maker. Are you a good communicator? Man: Is the right answer "no"?
Friday September 09,
2011
Tags keep brain out, laziness, long and complicated, technical recommendation, thinking, make decision
Transcript
Dilbert: Did you read my technical recommendation? Boss: No. It's too long and complicated. Dilbert: How do you plan to make a decision without reading it? Boss: I'll use my gut. Dilbert: It's probably a good idea to keep your brain out of this. Boss: Quiet! It's saying something. Noise: GROWL.
Saturday October 01,
2011
Tags saving & investment, stock market, mba, losing money, money in gold, shiny portfolio, money
Transcript
CEO: I have an MBA and yet I keep losing money in the stock market. How can this be? Boss: I put all of my money in gold because it's shiny. My portfolio doubled last year. I'm thinking of getting an MBA. How long does it take? A week?
Wednesday October 19,
2011
Tags anger, food werewolf, too long, no food, werewolf
Transcript
Alice: We'd better wrap up this meeting because Jenny is a food werewolf. Dilbert: What? Alice: When she goes too long without eating, she turns into a werewolf. It might be too late. Werewolf: YA THINK?
Friday November 04,
2011
Tags comparing a task, criticism, employees, executives, quality is bad, your imagination, time, quality, boss, business
Transcript
Boss: Why did this take so long? Dilbert: You're comparing a task - the likes of which has never been done - to your imagination of how long such things should take. Boss: Well then, the quality is bad. Dilbert: Compared to... ?
Saturday November 26,
2011
Tags deception, office workers, planning, assignments, entre schedule, next assignment
Transcript
Wally: I spent all of last week planning how to get everything done this week. Boss: Add one more thing. Wally: Okay, but I'll need to replan my entire schedule. Boss: How long will that take? Wally: Until you give me the next assignment.

