Lying Down Comic Strips - Page 30
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701 Results for Lying Down
View 291 - 300 results for lying down comic strips. Discover the best "Lying Down" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday January 15,
2000
Tags alice, eating, lettuce, grabbed food, inhaled food, old lady, break room
Transcript
Alice is sitting down at lunch, she has a sandwich in her hands. A co-worker says to Alice: "Hey Alice, what are you eating? Let me have a sniff." Co-worker thrusts herself like an eagle upon Alice's sandwich to sniff it: "Sniff!". Alice is scared. Alice looks at her sandwich with surprise and says: "My letucce is gone!" Co-worker walks away chewing.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday February 10,
2000
Tags Dilbert, dilbert not buying it, excuses, get information, hate people, promise, resentment, saves time, advance
Transcript
Dilbert is sitting at a table with a co-worker. The co-worker tells Dilbert: "I'll get this information for you." Dilbert replies: "No you won't. You'll wait until I hunt you down and then you'll say you were too busy." On the couch at home with Dogbert, Dilbert says: "Today I started hating people in advance." Dogbert replies: "It saves time."
Wednesday March 01,
2000
Tags where he hid files, disgruntled, porcelain patty, job resigned
Transcript
Asok the Intern is at the Boss's office. The Boss is sitting behind his desk. He tells Asok: "Ted resigned. Your job is to find out where he hid his files." He continues: "Our only clue is that he was disgruntled." Asok is in the bathroom. He jots down in his notepad: "Negatory on porcelain patty."
Saturday April 08,
2000
Tags tiny dried peanut, what would dogbert do, what would dogbert do?, god like, worship, dog worship, friends, ask yourself
Transcript
Walking down the street, Ratbert thinks to himself "At all times I ask myself, what would Dogbert do?" Ratbert also thinks, "Then it doesn't matter that my brain is the size of a tiny dried peanut." Ratbert pauses on the sidewalk with arms crossed and goes on to think, "That thought would make Dogbert hungry."
Sunday April 30,
2000
Tags dogcart consults, software has bugs, repackaging, rust inhibitor, error messages, people aren't stupid, they are, spit when type
Transcript
Dogbert says to Dilbert and the Boss, "Your software product is riddled with bugs." Dogbert continues, "I recommend repackaging it as a rust inhibitor for computers." Dogbert says, "The ads will say 'you know it's working because of all the error messages'." Dilbert replies, "People aren't stupid." Dogbert answers, "According to my research they are." Dogbert shows a diagrahm of a human brain with each section labeled. The Boss replies, "I think the rust turned my exclamation upside down." Dilbert says, "That's the letter 'I'."
Wednesday May 03,
2000
Tags cep, obscenely wealthy, guest house, build house, speech writer, workers, made him rich, bragging, condescending, truth
Transcript
Ed stands at the podium and says, "As CEO, I thank you for making me obscenely wealthy." Alice, Wally and Dilbert continue to sit and listen. Ed goes on to say, "Yesterday, I built a guest house using bundles of cash as bricks." Ed looks down at his paper, thinking "I need a new speech writer."
Tuesday May 09,
2000
Tags lose weight, write down meals, patented weight loss pencil
Transcript
Dogbert says to his client, "You can lose weight if you write down all of your meals in a journal." The man asks Dogbert, "That's all I need to do?" And Dogbert replies, "Yes, if you use our patented weight-loss pencil." The man leaves Dogbert carrying a gigantic pencil over his shoulder.
Saturday June 24,
2000
Tags worst date ever, whats on ground, bends over, check out ass, not so good
Transcript
Ming and Dilbert are walking together as Ming talks on her cell phone. "Yeah, I'm having the worst date ever. I'll check." Ming asks Dilbert, "What's that on the ground? It looks interesting?" Dilbert bends down tolook. Ming begins talking on her cell phone again. "Not so good."
Wednesday July 19,
2000
Tags global communications, de orbiting satellites, swimming pools, deadly flame balls, speeding toward earth
Transcript
Pointing to a picture the Boss says, "We'll be shutting down our global comunications business and de-orbiting our satellites." Dilbert raises his hand and says to the Boss, "Question: Wouldn't that create dozens of deadly flame balls speeding toward earth?" The Boss replies, "That's why we're aiming for cities that have lots of swimming pools."
Friday July 28,
2000
Tags upgarding, sales support, unlock lexus, guy down hall, owns lexus
Transcript
Dilbert says to Ed, "I finished upgrading the sales support network." Ed responds angrily, "Is that why I can't unlock my Lexus?!!" Dilbert replies, "You don't own a Lexus. You only look like a guy down the hall who owns one." Ed answers, "I hate that guy."


