Slap Hard Comic Strips - Page 30

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

339 Results for Slap Hard

View 291 - 300 results for slap hard comic strips. Discover the best "Slap Hard" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Falls Off Bridge

Thank you for voting.
Boss Falls Off Bridge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2015's comic on:


Tags #walking, #meeting, #meetings, #accident, #difficult, #gimmick, #manager, #idea, #ideas, #distraction, #Sports, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: My new thing is taking long walks instead of having meetings. Wow. It is hard to walk, read, think, talk, and drink coffee at the same time. Dilbert: He fell off a bridge. Carol: That's why I schedule walking meetings for him.

Wally Thinks Twice As Hard

Thank you for voting.
Wally Thinks Twice As Hard - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 2015's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #motivation, #trick, #deception, #excuse, #lazy, #energy, #con, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'm working twice as hard as ever before. Most of it is happening inside my head. But trust me, my brain is working double-time. Boss: Um... that's great. Wally: Obviously, I need to work fewer hours because of the energy drain.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 2015's comic on:


Tags #antisocial, #conversation, #uncomfortable, #awkward, #Women, #technology, #discussion

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: It is hard to be a woman in this industry. Dilbert: I'll let you take this one. Wally: Got it. I'm short, bald, and nearsighted. I have no ambition, and I have all the sign of being a sociopath. I am unattractive and too old for the tech industry., I am shaped like a sad turnip and I do not make people laugh. Alice: What are you hens clucking about now? Tina: I can't begin to tell you how much I want to change the subject.

Not Saving Enough For Retirement

Thank you for voting.
Not Saving Enough For Retirement - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 2015's comic on:


Tags #money, #saving, #retirement, #bleak, #despair, #pessimist, #old people, #elderly

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Most people are not saving enough for retirement. So I see no reason to work hard and save money just so my retirement condo can be overrun by starving seniors. Too bleak? Alice: A little!

It's Easier If We Don't Try To Link Performance And Outcomes

Thank you for voting.
It's Easier If We Don't Try To Link Performance And Outcomes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2015's comic on:


Tags #performance, #reward, #consequences, #consequence, #result, #outcome, #logic, #reasoning, #laziness, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: So don't let that happen again. Dilbert: It wasn't my fault and you know it. Boss: It's easier if we don't try to link performance and outcomes. Dilbert: I'll try. It was hard at first, but now I'm totally stress-free. Wally: I just got a 30% raise.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 2015's comic on:


Tags #logic, #reasoning, #managing, #managers, #leadership, #quality, #absurd

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: You assigned a pack of idiots to my project team. Boss: We can't afford to hire good people. Dilbert: How am I supposed to create world-class products with a team of disruptive idiots? Boss: Try working extra hard. Dilbert: You want us to be more energetic about our bad decisions? Boss: You also have to put in the hours. Dilbert: Are you saying bad decisions, plus long hours, plus lots of enthusiasm, produces great engineering? Boss: Not if you stand around yacking about it all day.

Dick Acuses Asok

Thank you for voting.
Dick Acuses Asok - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2016's comic on:


Tags #internet, #comment, #troll, #bait, #terrorism, #terrorist, #accuse, #accusation, #forum, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dick From The Internet. Dick: I hear you're a terrorist sympathizer. Asok: Noooo! That is a racist rumor. Dick: You must be guilty or you wouldn't be denying it so hard. Just admit you want to kill me. Asok: Now I do want to kill you!!!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2016's comic on:


Tags #demands, #bosses, #unrealistic, #frustration, #outburst, #catch-22, #travel, #air travel

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Carol, move my flight one hour earlier Friday. Carol: Do you have any idea how hard that would be? I know it sounds easy, but it won't be. Not at this late date. Not with all your pickiness. When I fail, you will think I didn't look hard enough for a new flight. I can't prove a negative, so I will forever suffer your disdain. My career is ruined. Boss: Never mind! Forget it! Why is it so hard to ask you to do anything? Carol: I've been telling people you're stupid, but I'm open to other theories.

Dilbert Is Picked As Company Mascot`

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Is Picked As Company Mascot` - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 2016's comic on:


Tags #posture, #mascot, #success, #hunchback, #work ethic, #reward

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Management has selected Dilbert to be our new company mascot. His bad posture speaks volumes about his hard work and long hours. Dilbert: Ow! CEO: Did you ever dream you would be so successful? Dilbert: This is exactly how I dreamed it.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2016's comic on:


Tags #insult, #offense, #engineer, #programmer, #coding, #anger, #technology, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: How's the software coming? Alice: Still waiting for you to give me the specs so I can start. Man: I already told you it's a cloud app that does data. Hey, I can't do your job for you. You have to meet me halfway. Aren't you supposed to be "agile?" I mean, how hard is it to rearrange zeroes and ones all day? Should I ask again tomorrow? Alice: Sure, if you're alive.