Worked Less Comic Strips - Page 30

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View 291 - 300 results for worked less comic strips. Discover the best "Worked Less" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accusations, #anxiety, #continuous barrage, #firewall, #inevitable villager, #pessimism, #villagers with torches

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Boss: Dilbert, I want you to install the new firewall. Dilbert: Noooo!!!! Why me? Why me? The firewall guy gets blamed for every problem. People will say "Everything worked until you changed the firewall." There will be no rest for me. I will have to defend myself against a continuous barrage of accusations. It's always the firewall! Everyone blames the stinkin' firewall! I surrender to the inevitable! Villagers, grab your pitchforks and torches! Boss: How did he get that way? Wally: I blame the firewall.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #catch, #fall, #fall back, #frustration, #gone wrong, #learn trust, #lesson, #questioning, #test fall, #tolerate co owrkers

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Asok: Wally, how can I learn to tolerate my co-workers? Wally: It is time for you to learn about trust, Asok. Let me show you. Turn around. This is called the "trust fall." You fall backward and trust me to catch you... go. Asok: Why didn't you catch me?!!! Wally: It wouldn't be trust if it worked every time. Asok: What kind of lesson is that? Wally: This is how I tolerate my co-workers.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #choosing, #Family, #work ethic, #work hard, #anything you want, #moron parents

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Boss: My parents taught me that if I worked hard, I could be anything I wanted. Alice: And you chose... this? His parents sound like morons. Dilbert: Maybe he didn't work hard.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #telecommunication lines, #work ethic, #telecommuting, #policy, #assignments, #disappointed

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Boss: And you are...? Coworker: I've worked for you for years. I was telecommuting, but now our company policy forbids it, so here I am. Boss: Did I give you any assignments in those four years? Coworker: No, and you can imagine how disappointed I am now.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #honesty, #corporate culture, #micromanaging, #higgs - boson, #taboo, #new culture

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Boss: I'm looking for ideas on how we can improve our corporate culture. Alice: You could start by being less of a micromanaging d-bag who hides like a Higgs-boson whenever we need a decision. Boss: That didn't help. Alice: Will honesty still be taboo in the new culture?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #honesty, #under informed, #less clever, #good point, #another direction, #boss meeting

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Boss: You didn't handle this the way I told you. Dilbert: In my defense, you're under-informed and less clever than me. I was hoping he'd say, "Good point," but it went another direction.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #internet & world wide web, #social media cosultant, #one like, #less than ten thousand, #insulting, #elbonian, #inflate your like count, #socialize, #wine glasses, #bar wine, #kiss, #relationships

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Dilbert: What do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a social media consultant. Dilbert: I like you. Woman: Phhht. You're giving me one like? Anything less than ten thousand likes is an insult. Dilbert: I'll be right back. I hired an Elbonian to artificially inflate your like count. Elbonian: Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like. Dilbert: I am not paying that guy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #ignorance (knowledge), #futurists, #know how, #create entire universe, #brown bag lunches, #slurp

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Alice: Futurists say that someday humans will have the know-how to create an entire universe. Boss: Where would they put it? Alice: We should do these brown bag lunches less often.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cruelty, #managers & supervisors, #work ethic, #employees work harder, #caring managers, #sausage casing, #business

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Boss: According to studies, employees will work harder if they think their managers care about them. But that's hard for me because you're basically a sausage casing full of coffee and rotting organs. Dilbert: That must have stung. Wally: Less than you'd think.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #happiness, #tasks, #people, #commute, #paid less, #nothing about job, #psychology

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Dilbert: I like my job. But I don't like any of the tasks... or any of the people... I don't like the commute... and I'm paid less than I'm worth... and I'm not making the world a better place. Dogbert: Are you sure you like your job? Dilbert: Why do you ask?