2019 Comic Strips - Page 30
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Character
Friday October 18,
2019
Wally Has Skills
Tags business, managers & supervisors, performance, review, robot, design, skills
Transcript
boss: wally, your performance is substandard. wally: give me a great performance review, or else i'll design a robot that will take your job. boss: you could do that? wally: i have the skills. i just don't like to use them.
Saturday October 19,
2019
Dilbert Is Bad At Reading Faces
Tags business, office workers, psychology, over sleeping, pancakes, hungry
Transcript
dilbert: i'm not good at reading faces. what does that one mean? man: it means i'm mad at myself for over sleeping and having to rush to work, so i hate your guts. dilbert: oh. i was guessing it was something about pancakes. probably because i'm hungry.
Sunday October 20,
2019
Bad News I Can't Tell You
Tags angry, employees, frustrated, news, office workers
Transcript
Carol: I have bad news. Dilbert: What is it? Carol: I'll tell you later. Dilbert: Why can't you tell me now? Carol: I don't want to start and then get interrupted if someone comes in the room. Dilbert: How bad is the news? Carol: It's bad. Very bad. Dilbert: You're making me crazy, how can I relax knowing some terrible news is out there? Don't tell me you have bad news if you aren't going to tell me what it is!!! Wally: What did I miss? Dilbert: I don't know!
Monday October 21,
2019
Busy To Mentor
Tags business, criticism, managers & supervisors, mentor, busy
Transcript
boss: i'm sorry i've been too busy to mentor you lately. dilbert: were you mentoring me before? boss: kind of. i was criticizing you in my mind. dilbert: i think it made me a better person.
Tuesday October 22,
2019
Best Employees
Tags employees, managers & supervisors, best, office workers, industry, attitude
Transcript
boss: we have the best employees in the entire industry. except for ted obviously. ted: wait...what? boss: and here comes the attitude.
Wednesday October 23,
2019
Body Language Fail
Tags business, managers & supervisors, body language, fail, deny, psychology, monster
Transcript
female office worker: i can tell by your body language that you want me to fail. dilbert: why would i want you to fail? female: you're not denying it!!! dilbert: well, now i want you to fail. female yelling: you're a monster!
Thursday October 24,
2019
Project Update
Friday October 25,
2019
Work Life Balance
Tags business, interviewee, interview, employer, company, healthy, work, life, balance, victim
Transcript
boss: tell me what you are looking for in an employer interviewee in suit: i want a company that appreciates a healthy work-life balance. boss: you have a bit of a victim vibe interviewee: i was hoping that didn't show
Saturday October 26,
2019
Self Reliant
Tags managers & supervisors, business, project, teamwork, help, teach, self-reliant
Transcript
boss to wally: ted says you wouldn't help him on his project. wally: i was teaching him how to be self-reliant. that's important too, isn't it? not such an easy question, is it?
Sunday October 27,
2019
Boss Negotiates With Elbonia
Tags big business, business ethics, government, money, partisan politics, stealing, negotiate
Transcript
Boss: I'm negotiating a deal with the government of Elbonia. They agreed to buy a thousand dollars of our products. All I had to do was agree to let them steal all of our intellectual property. Dilbert: Wouldn't it be better for us if they didn't steal our I.P.? Boss: You have to look at the big picture. They also agreed to stop killing tens of thousands of our citizens with their illegal drug shipments. Dilbert: Did they stop? Boss: No, but they said they would. Dilbert: Maybe you should negotiate harder. Boss: And risk losing a thousand dollars of revenue?

