Distribution Problem Comic Strips - Page 30

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

392 Results for Distribution Problem

View 291 - 300 results for distribution problem comic strips. Discover the best "Distribution Problem" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #teach elbonians, #cobol, #reschedule, #send wally, #dilbert doesn't know cobol

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands with The Boss. Dilbert's arms are raised in anger. Dilbert says, "Why are sending ME to teach cobol to the Elbonians? Wally is the one who knows cobol, not me." The Boss says, "Wally said he's busy that day." Dilbert says, "Can't you reschedule the class." The Boss says, "Okay... does tomorrow work for you?" Dilbert raises his clenched fists. Dilbert says, "YOU"RE SOLVING THE WRONG PROBLEM!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #momentum alighns, #value added distribution, #babble, #points, #meeting, #alice, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, Wally and Ted sit at a conference table. Alice and Wally blab on. Ted thinks, "I haven't talked yet, but all the good points have been taken." Ted says, "We must make sure our momentum aligns with our value-added distribution!" Alice says, "That was just babble, right?" Ted says, "All the good ones were taken."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss's son, #pickle juice, #pickles, #big probelm, #household, #taught everything

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally, The Boss' son, and Dilbert sitting at a table. The Boss' son says, "My dad taught me everything I know." The Boss' son, Dilbert, and Alice sitting at table. The Boss' son continues, "He used to say 'Don't drink the pickle juice until the pickles are gone.'" Wally asks, "Was that a big problem at your house?" The Boss' son answers, "Have you ever been hit in the eye with a pickle?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogberts tech support, #software, #cat scan machine, #break room, #insert head, #trickster dogbert, #prnak, #cowoorker, #labor market, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: Dogbert's Tech Support Dogbert on phone with Tech Support guy. Dogbert sitting at computer terminal with hand on mouse. Dogbert says, "Our software is perfect. The problem must be with you." Tech Support guy on phone with Dogbert. Dogbert continues, "Go to the cat scan machine in the break room and insert your head. I'll monitor you from here." Wally watches as Tech Support guy inserts his head into microwave. Tech Support guy says, "Do you see the problem?" Wally says, "I blame the tight labor market."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #drug treatment program, #admit problem, #proactive, #pointy hored, #hallucinations, #with drawl, #ink blotch test

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: Drug Treatment Program Counselor and Alice, whose arms are folded, sitting. Counselor says, "The first step is to admit you have a drug problem." Alice replies, "I don't." Alice continues, "My pointy-haired boss forced me to be here because he thinks it makes him look proactive." Counselor holds up an inkblotch card and says, "Hallucinations are common during withdrawal. Let's do an inkblotch test." Alice cries out, "AAAGH!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #drug treatment program, #drug problem, #childproof container

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Wally, and The Boss sitting at table. While holding a document, The Boss says, "No one in my division is using the company drug treatment program. This is very embarassing." The Boss continues, "My boss will think I'm not managing the drug problem. Don't ANY of you have a drug problem?" Alice, sitting next to Dilbert and Wally, struggles to open a pill container. She exclaims in a frustrated manner, "#!*% Childproof 'Midol' container!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dangerous asbestos, #every room, #scientific process, #attrition

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally, Dilbert, and The Boss siting at table. The Boss reads from a sheet of paper, "Dangerous asbestos has been found in every room in our building." The Boss continues, "The problem will be addressed using a ... scientific process." Wally, Dilbert, and The Boss sitting at table. The Boss continues, "Something called attrition."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert the consultant, #excellent advice, #50k monthly, #offer bad advice, #45k month

View Transcript

Transcript

Banner reading "Dogbert the Consultant" appears across top of page. Dogbert sitting in front of The Boss. Dogbert says, "I cab give you excellent advice for $50,000 per month." Dogbert sitting in chair continues, "If budget is a problem, I also offer bad advice for the low price of $45,000 per month." Dilbert and Alice watch as The Boss runs past their cubicle with scissors in hand. Alice says, "That's not a good sign."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new computer, #dispose of old computer, #engineering solution

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally tells Dilbert, "I'm not allowed to get a new computer until I get rid of this old one." Wally continues, "The janitor won't allow it in the trash; Union rules won't let me carry it to storage. So I built this catapult." Wally catapults the computer over the cubicle and says, "Like I always say, every problem has an engineering solution."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #letter of refrence, #job in division, #prone to anger and denail

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I'll need a letter of reference to apply for a job in another division." The Boss sits at his desk and says, "No problem." The Boss writes a letter. It says, "...For a man of his hygiene. He doesn't steal as much as you think. I suspect he's on drugs." The new manager says, "And then he says you're prone to anger and denial. Is that true?" Dilbert is angry and waves his arms in the air and screams, "NO!!"