Dogbert Comic Strips - Page 30
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1000 Results for Dogbert
View 291 - 300 results for dogbert comic strips. Discover the best "Dogbert" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday May 31,
2013
Tags conversation, honesty, serial idiot, startup idea, business idea
Transcript
Dilbert: ...and that's my idea for a start-up. What do you think? Dogbert: I'm not a big fan of other people being successful, so I'll say the idea is terrible. Dilbert: Remind me why I talk to you. Dogbert: You're a serial entreprenidiot.
Saturday May 25,
2013
Tags executives, ignorance (knowledge), progress, key to success, hire, business is successful, circular reasoning
Transcript
Dogbert: What is the key to success? CEO: Hire the right employees! Dogbert: How do you know you hired the right ones? CEO: You know because the business is successful. Dogbert: So the key to success is circular reasoning? CEO: Yes, because circular reasoning is the key.
Tuesday April 30,
2013
Tags comic ends early, embedded punchline, follow passion, joking, made fat, set up, blank frame, sight gag
Transcript
Asok: I tried to follow my passion but it only made me fat. Dogbert: This comic ends early because some idiot embedded the punch line in the setup. Message to Readers
Wednesday April 24,
2013
Tags choosing, thinking, intuition, make decisions
Transcript
Dilbert: I wonder if I should rely more on my intuition to make decisions. Dogbert: You mean guessing? Dilbert: No. Guessing is totally different from intuition because of the... um... These things make sense in my head! Dogbert: Is there room in there with all of the intuition?
Wednesday April 17,
2013
Tags deception, stock market, hedge fund compnay, investment fund, misleading claims, 3 week period, money
Transcript
Dogbert: The best way to evaluate an investment fund is to look at its misleading claims of past performance. The Dogbert Hedge Fund beat the market average for a three-week period... that one time. Boss: Can you do that again? Dogbert: It depends on what you mean by "that." ----
Wednesday April 10,
2013
Tags cruelty, monsters, taxes, taxpayers head explode, turned on, head explodes, taxpayers, frustration
Transcript
Writing the Tax Code Monster: If we do this right, it will be so complicated that it will make taxpayers' heads explode. Dogbert: Hee! Hee! Man: Multiply line 32 times the opposite of the integral of line 19 unless my pants have pleats and gaaaa!!!! Dogbert: Do you ever feel bad about doing this? Monster: I'd be lying if I said it didn't turn me on just a little.
Tuesday April 09,
2013
Monday April 08,
2013
Tags cruelty, monsters, taxes, sadistic monster, income tax code, complicated, regressive tax codes, like minds
Transcript
Monster: The best part of being a sadistic monster is that my job is to write the income tax code. Look how complicated I made it. Hee hee! Dogbert: You do good work, Stanky. Monster: But is it regressive enough? Dogbert: It's like we share a brain because you keep saying what I'm thinking.
Saturday April 06,
2013
Thursday March 07,
2013
Tags best policy, lying, powerless, superpower, truth, honesty is best policy
Transcript
Dogbert: Honesty is the best policy... whenever you think lying won't work. Otherwise, lying is awesome. It's like a freakin' superpower! Ratbert: Why am I here? Dogbert: I speak truth to the powerless.


