Forgot Watch Comic Strips - Page 30
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Dilbert asks Bob the Dinosaur, "Are you saying dinosaurs are incapable of lying?" Bob replies, "Almost." Bob looks at Dawn the Dinosaur and continues, "Dawn and I taught ourselves some simple lies for survival . . . We'll show you . . ." Bob says, "I've never been tempted to read the 'National Enquirer.'" Dawn says, "I only watch the news and some educational programs."
Dilbert says to a group of Elbonians, "The first thing you Elbonians must understand about capitalism is the incentive system." Dilbert continues, "If you're willing to work twelve hours a day, eventually the guy who owns your factory will get rich." An Elbonian asks another, "Am I missing something here?" Dilbert continues, "Then you guys get to watch great tv shows based on the millionaire's life!"
The caption says, "Dilbert arrives at the ex-communist country of Elbonia." Dilbert says to a man in uniform, "I need a flight to your capital." Dilbert turns toward the reader and says, "For a moment I was worried that this backward little country wouldn't have a commuter flight." Two Elbonian women watch as Dilbert is flung from a giant slingshot. One woman says, "I hate living near the airport."
Dilbert sees Dogbert holding a video camera and asks, "A home video?" Dogbert answers, "'Dogbert Versus Godzilla.' We'll use Bob the Dinosaur as Godzilla and you can be Raymond Burr!" Bob asks, "Shouldn't Godzilla get top billing?" Dogbert shouts through a megaphone, "Quiet on the set!!" Dawn tells Dilbert, "Dogbert is letting me be the 'key grip.'" Dilbert replies, "Darn! All I get was the Raymond Burr role." Dogbert says, "In this first scene, Bob, you rip the arms off the 'Ken' doll while Barbie and Skipper watch in horror." Dogbert continues, "Dilbert, you'll be eating a cheeseburger and the shock waves will cause you to smoosh it into your face." Dogbert continues, "Then I come in and waste both of you with a fire extinguisher." Dilbert asks, "Raymond Burr dies?" Dawn asks, "What, no sequel?"
Dilbert and an auto mechanic look under the hood of Dilbert's car. Dilbert says, "I think it's my fuel pump." The mechanic asks, "Your what?" Dilbert replies, "What I mean is I think it's my @*!# fuel pump." The mechanic says, "Well, why didn't you just #$@* say so?" Dilbert replies, "Sorry . . . I forgot where I was."
A man stands at a podium and a witch sits next to him on the stage. Dilbert sits in the audience. The man says, "Welcome to another meeting of the 'Skeptics Society.'" The man continues, "Tonight we will use scientific methods to debunk Edna Griffin's claim that she can turn an audience into a flock of chickens. We'll need some volunteers . . ." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Motion to adjourn . . ." The man next to Dilbert looks at his watch and says, "Whoa, look at the time!"
Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "Some say it is man's ability to reason which separates him from mere animals." Dogbert says, "Yeah, but . . ." Dogbert continues, "Surely you realize that in the animal kingdom there is no equivalent to 'All-Star Wrestling.'" Dilbert looks at his watch and says, "Ooh - we're missing it right now." Dogbert says, "Stomp your foot twice if you're following any of this at all."
Dogbert sits on a pillow and thinks, "Maybe I should write a book." Dogbert thinks, "Nah . . . Maybe I should just read a book." Dogbert thinks as he walks through the house, "Maybe I'll just read the tv guide . . . Maybe I'll just watch whatever's on and turn into pudding . . ."
Dilbert sits on the floor hugging his knees and watching television. Dogbert says, "You've been watching this video tape over and over for days." Dilbert says, "These tennis instruction tapes are great. I can just feel my game improving as I watch." Dilbert continues, "In fact, I see no need to actually physically play the game ever again."
Dilbert answers the door and says, "Hello . . . Wait, aren't you . . .?" The person at the door answers, "Ed McMahon." Ed McMahon asks, "Do you remember that sweepstakes entry you mailed?" Dilbert replies excitedly, "Yes yes!!" Ed McMahon hands Dilbert a letter and says, "You forgot to put a stamp on it."