Work Ethic Comic Strips - Page 30

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View 291 - 300 results for work ethic comic strips. Discover the best "Work Ethic" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally's Red File Gets Him Out Of Work

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Wally's Red File Gets Him Out Of Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, ruse, work ethic, deception, excuse

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Wally: I'd love to help you, but I'm busy working on the red file. Woman: Is the red file a real thing or just a thing you say to get out of work? Wally: It's all the same on your end.

The Illusion Of Work

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The Illusion Of Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, laziness, deception

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Wally: It's easier to create the illusion of work than it is to do actual work. That's why I carry this red folder with me wherever I go. Man: Can you attend a design meeting at two? Wally: Ooh... I wish I could, but I'm behind on the red file.

Coaching Ted

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Coaching Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags quitting, fired, annoy, irritate, drive away, repel

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Boss: Ted, you have not performed up to my expectations, so I thought I would spend more time coaching you. I'll be with you every minute of the day. Ted: I quit! Catbert: I told you that would work. Boss: I didn't want to believe it.

Ted Is Doing A Terrible Job

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Ted Is Doing A Terrible Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags talking, conversation, boring, annoy, quitting, boredom

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Boss: Ted is doing a terrible job. Catbert: Maybe you should talk to him. Boss: What should I say? Catbert: It doesn't matter. Five minutes of listening to you will make him want to quit. Boss: That's crazy enough to work. Catbert: You've only been here for two minutes and my tail is asleep.

Punishment By Talking

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Punishment By Talking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deadline, time, time management, managers, perspective

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Boss: Why is your project taking so long? Dilbert; It isn't. It only seems like a long time to you because you don't know how to do anything. Boss: I know how to punish you for being late. Dilbert: Does it involve talking to me while I'm trying to work?

Ruining Dilbert's Flow

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Ruining Dilbert's Flow - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stress, deadline, work load, multitask, compensation, money

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Boss: I'm giving you another software project to work on at the same time as your main project. Dilbert: That will ruin my flow. It will take too long to reset my brain when I switch between projects. Boss: Have you tried working longer hours without extra pay? Dilbert: Yes I have!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags happiness, work, torture, human resources, hr, manipulation, content, psychology, business

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Catbert: The one called Dilbert is showing signs of happiness at work. Boss: That means we can give him more work and he won't quit. Excellent. Is anyone else exhibiting signs of unauthorized happiness? Catbert: No. Everyone else is in the narrow band of misery you want them to be in. If they were any happier, it would mean you're overpaying them. If they were any less happy, the would take their own lives. If you don't hear any laughing or screaming, it means you're doing something right. Boss: What about moans? Catbert: Moans are ideal. That's the sweet spot.

Forgot To Go To Pre Meeting Corrected

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Forgot To Go To Pre Meeting   Corrected - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, lying, deadline, boss, executive

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CEO: Is the software finished as your boss promised me it would be? Dilbert: I forgot to go to the pre-meeting for this meeting, so I'll guess the answer is.. yes? CEO: Okay, keep up the good work! Dilbert: Thanks goodness he doesn't know what the truth even looks like.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags health, morning, waking up, sleepless, complaining, manager, sociopath, emotions

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Boss: Can you take a call with our Elbonian customers at 6 a.m. tomorrow? Dilbert: Sure. All I need to do is put my health at risk by not getting enough sleep tonight. Of course, I'll hate your guts for making me come to work so early. And I would expect my bad attitude to infect my co-workers and make them less productive, too. My lack of sleep will affect my decision-making, obviously. And I"m working on important projects, so the ripple effect could be catastrophic. So, do you still want me to be here at 6 a.m. tomorrow? Boss: Yes. You don't have to be a sociopath to be a manager, but it helps.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags scam, language, accent, communication

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Dogbert: I'm starting a foreign accent schools for the lazy. People assume you're smarter when you know more than one language. But learning a new language takes too much work. So I'll teach you how to speak your own language with a foreign accent. People will assume you are bilingual at the very least. And when you use bad grammar with a foreign accent it makes you look adorable. You'll never need to do another courtesy laugh, either. People will just assume you didn't get the joke. Dilbert: This is one of your better ideas. Dogbert: You should hear it with an accent!