2018 Comic Strips - Page 30
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Character
Friday March 16,
2018
Moth Man Keeps Popping In
Tags conversation, talking, frustration, workload, annoyance
Transcript
Dilbert: I can't get any work done because the storytelling mothman keeps popping in to my cubicle uninvited. Why did you hire a storytelling mothman in the first place? Was it not obvious this would happen? Boss: Everyone's a genius in hindsight.
Thursday March 15,
2018
Mothman Detects Energy
Tags workload, talking, socializing, conversation
Transcript
The Storytelling Mothman. Mothman: I detect the energy of an employee with a high workload. I'm here to tell you a long story that you think will never end. Alice: That is the last thing I need right now. Mothman: Do you know the history of the paper clip?
Wednesday March 14,
2018
Story Telling Mothman
Tags mothman, workload, responsibility, stress, story, talking
Transcript
Boss: I hired a storytelling mothman. He identifies with employees with the greatest workloads and wastes their time telling long stories. Dilbert: We don't need a storytelling mothman. Boss: Then why does every company have one?
Tuesday March 13,
2018
Team Building Lunch
Tags lunch, team, teamwork, team-building, business
Transcript
Dilbert: Is everyone ready to go to lunch yet? I've been waiting for ninety minutes. Alice: We just got back. No one noticed you weren't with us. Dogbert: How was your team-building lunch? Dilbert: Suboptimal.
Monday March 12,
2018
Meeting Rooms Are Booked
Tags meetings, managers, scheduling, conflict
Transcript
Dilbert: My project stalled because all of our meeting rooms have been reserved by managers just in case they need them. My current plan for success is to wait until one of you dies sow e can use your meeting room. Boss: Let's not do project status reports anymore.
Sunday March 11,
2018
Tags interview, hiring, honesty, immoral, ulterior motives
Transcript
Dilbert: What would you say are your biggest weaknesses? Man: I like to rifle through my coworkers' desks when they aren't looking. But I don't steal anything unless I know I can frame someone else for the crime. I leave for work an hour late every day and blame traffic. I avoid accomplishing goals so I won't feel like sellout. Sometimes I'll start a trash fire just to get out of a meeting. And I've gotten every one of my bosses fired for things they didn't say or do. Boss: Would he be a good fit? Dilbert: I like what he has to offer.
Saturday March 10,
2018
Mentor Can't Tell A Hoax From Reality
Tags Advice, competition, bad advice, deception, wedgie
Transcript
Man: Alice has been mentoring me for a month, and I can't tell how much of her advice is real and how much is a hoax. For example, she advised me to give our boss a wedgie because she said he likes assertive people. Is that real? Dilbert: I'm gonna say yes.
Friday March 09,
2018
Boss Loves Criticism
Tags mentor, mentee, protege, Advice, competition, deception
Transcript
Alice The Mentor. Alice: One thing I can tell you about our boss is that he loves constructive criticism. Man: I feel as if your advice is intended to make me fail because you see me as a threat to take your job. Alice: And he loves it when you grab him by the hair and yell, "handles!"
Thursday March 08,
2018
Alice Mentors The New Guy
Wednesday March 07,
2018
Two Hour Summary
Tags language, jargon, listening, communication, interpretation
Transcript
Boss: Thank you for that two-hour summary of your project. I didn't understand any of the jargon you used, but based on the context, I believe you are saying the software will be done soon. Alice: I didn't say anything about software. Boss: I guess neither of us did our best work today.


