Build System Comic Strips - Page 30

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

378 Results for Build System

View 291 - 300 results for build system comic strips. Discover the best "Build System" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #valuable, #value, #legacy system, #less valuable, #never appear less valuable, #dress code troll

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I worry that being assigned to work on the legacy systems will make me appear less valuable in the future. Catbert: You have my word that you could never appear less valuable than you are now. Gilbert: Why do your assurances make me feel worse? Catbert: Your new dress code is "troll."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #scheduling, #business jargon, #surprised, #impressed, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Let's schedule a scenario-based roundtable discussion about our enterprise project management." The Boss says, "We'll use our infrastructure survey tool to architect a risk-based tiering system." Dilbert says, "That almost meant something." Wally says, "I'm tempted to stop acting randomly."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #security access, #canceled, #accident, #mistake, #scared, #fugitive, #nervous, #invisible, #teach, #useless, #hvac, #breathing, #cubicle, #blend in, #secuirty guard

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "My security access was accidentally canceled and now I'm a fugitive." The Boss says, "Can you teach me to be as useless as you are so I'm invisible for all practical purposes?" Guard says, "I hear breathing but it must be the HVAC system." Wally says, "Be the cubicle."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nose job, #health insurance, #surgery, #cloth over nose, #good deal, #veterinarian, #dog nose, #squirrel, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "Our health plan doesn't cover nose jobs, so I used the market system to bargain for a good deal." Asok says, "I learned that a veterinarian is just like a doctor, but cheaper." Asok says, "Do you smell a squirrel?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #good news, #raise fist, #wireless network, #bad news, #knowledge, #lack of understanding

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss says, "Good news! We won the bid to build a nationwide wireless network!" Dilbert says, "Bad news! We don't know how to build a nationwide wireless network!" Boss says, "It's wireless. How hard could it be to not install wires?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mordac, #preventer of information services, #upgrade computer, #vampire, #evil smile, #panic, #caveman, #complain, #costumes

View Transcript

Transcript

Mordac the Preventer of Information Services Mordac says, "It's time for your operating system upgrade." Dilbert says, "Gaaa!" Dilbert says, "Please don't! My CMS software won't work with the new operating system. I'll be a technology have-not!" The Boss says, "It's never good when they wear costumes to complain." Dilbert says, "Ooga"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #upgrade, #cellphone, #clerk, #sport chair, #laptop, #stare

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I'd like to waste the better part of my afternoon trying to upgrade my phone." Dilbert says, "I'll just set up my sport chair, and use my laptop while you mumble and stare at your monitor for what seems like forever." Dilbert says, "Look at me! I'm beating your system!" Man says, "Quiet! I'm trying to stare."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #front, #media, #bad, #slave labor, #elbonia, #make products, #cave, #chain, #water, #Entertainment, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "We're getting some heat from the media for using Elbonian slave labor ot build our products." The Boss says, "I've been trying to tell the media that it's not as bad as it sounds." ELBONIA Elboanian says, "Now I'll be the slave and you be the oppressor!" Elbonian 2 says, "No!!! Not yet!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #selfishness, #rudeness, #sales, #internet, #confusion, #sabotage, #business, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

The lucky sales guy man says, "My sales quotas were set too low. I plan to buy a yacht with my commissions." man says, "Would you mind programming the navigation system so I can get drunk while my boat takes me places?" Asok says, "Why are you researching where all the pirates attack?" Dilbert says, "It's better if you don't know."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #help, #meeting, #injury, #violence, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I have no project of my own, so I wander the cubicles offering unsolicited advice." Dilbert says, "Speaking of which, you should put a little extra thought into your cooling system design. It looks monkey-made." Dilbert says, "I'm discovering that honest and helpful are a bad combination."