Companys Name Comic Strips - Page 30

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

371 Results for Companys Name

View 291 - 300 results for companys name comic strips. Discover the best "Companys Name" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, hiring, renaming, confusion, anger, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "We're changing the name of our staffing group to 'Talent acquisition.'" the boss says, "This reflects our new focus on hiring only highly talented people." Dilbert says, "Doesn't that imply that your current employees are inferior to the ones you plan to hire?" The boss says , "Sort of." Dilbert says, "And since you routinely fire the worst performing employees..." Dilbert says, "you have just sealer our doom while expecting us to remain loyal to the company." Wally says, "now all I can thin k about are ways to vandalize the servers before I become homeless." The boss says, "I over-communicated again."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags appointment, argument, ridiculous, security, struggling, angry

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "Hi, I'm Tom Jackson. I have a meeting with your boss." Carol says, "He has no one by that name on his calendar." Carol says, "The only people he's meeting today are Fob Meterfon, Gom Axfon, and Dabe Aggams." Man says, "Maybe when your boss said he was meeting with 'Tom Jackson' you heard it as 'Gom Axfon.'" Carol says, "Is that how you want to play this? Really?" Carol says, "Security, come arrest this man!!" Man says, "I'm Gom Axfon! I'm Gom Axfon!" The Boss says, "Where's Tom Jackson?" Carol says, "Don't you start with me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Company Lawyer "I did a trademark search on all of the excellent product names you suggested." "Every one of them is taken." "So I did a search on the names that weren't so great." "Those are taken, too." "Then I checked on the names iCrud, iPuke, EatDirtAndDie, and DefectiveProduct." "All taken." "So our new product name will be a combination of grunts and shrieks." "Like this? GrrrrrEeeyYaaa?" "That one is taken. Ours sounds more like a monkey passing a kidney stone."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coworkers, cubicles, question, busy, promise of speed, five seconds, name calling, no time, disrespect, no help

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina; "Do you have a minute?" Dilbert: "No." Tina: "This will just take a second." Dilbert: "No it won't." Tina: "It's real quick." Dilbert: Never is. Tina: "You have my word that it will take no longer than five seconds." Dilbert: "Okay. Go." Tina: "Oh, good. So, I was walking by and I thought maybe I should stop and ask you something because..." Dilbert: "Time's up." Tina: "Jerk" Dilbert: "Liar."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags good will, purchased, redesigned headquarters, horses rump, executive suite

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "Now that I have purchased your company's goodwill, I plan to make some changes." "I redesigned your headquarters building." CEO: "What's this part that looks like a horse's rump?" Dogbert: "That's the entrance to the executive suite."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags wealthy investor, list of cutomers, products to injure, lawyer, contract, list, legal

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: We financed our expansion by selling the goodwill on our balance sheet to a wealthy investor. Dogbert: "I made a list of the customers that I want your products to injure." "Your lawyer did a bad job on the contract." The Boss: "His name is on your list."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags agile programming, cpmplain, training, write code, no more planning, no more documentation, just start writing

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: We're going to try something called agile programming. "That means no more planning and no more documentation. Just start writing code and complaining." Wally: "I'm glad it has a name." The boos: "That was your training."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags disciuss company politics, career monefield, project, new strategic direction, upcoming reorganization, plan to criticize, something good happens

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I'm not allowed to discuss the company politics that form a career minefield around your project." "And I can't tell you the company's new strategic direction, or anything about our upcoming reorg." The boss: "My plan is to criticize you until something good happens."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags important sales call, secret weapon, ed from sales, prices identical, engineering staff, competitor, employs loser, act surprised

View Transcript

Transcript

"I need you to accompany me on an important sales call." "Me?" "You're my secret weapon." "Well, okay." "What's your name?" "I'm Ed, from sales." "Only two companies make this type of product. The prices are identical." "The difference is that our engineering staff brings genius and innovation to everything it touches." "Whereas my competitor employs this loser." "Really? I wondered why you didn't look familiar." "Sold!" "You helped make a sale?" "Why does everyone act all surprised?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags itern, eating fiber, schools, indian institute of technology

View Transcript

Transcript

"Tex, I'd like you to meet Asok, our intern." "Asok? What kind of name is that? Are you a taxi driver?" "Um...no." "I've produced bigger things than you by eating fiber!" "Do they have schools where you came from?" "Actually, Asok graduated from the Indian Institute of Technology. So if I were you, I wouldn't make him angry." "Why? What's he gonna do? Gnaw on my ankle?" "Explode! Explode!" BOOM! "They taught you some good stuff." "Nah. You can't even get in unless you can do that."