Find Girlfreind Comic Strips - Page 30

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

353 Results for Find Girlfreind

View 291 - 300 results for find girlfreind comic strips. Discover the best "Find Girlfreind" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #credit, #motivation, #obliviousness, #hiring, #logic, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The secret to success is hiring the right people. Dilbert: Then why doesn't everyone do that? Boss: It takes a lot of skill to hire the right people. Dilbert: Did you just find a way to take all of the credit for the team's success? And did you do it in a clever way that was intended to make you look humble even while hogging all the credit? Boss: I also motivate you. Dilbert: You're money?

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Boss Survives Fall From Bridge

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Survives Fall From Bridge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accident, #falling, #walking, #help, #emergency, #apathy, #Sports

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I survived falling off the bridge when we were taking our long walk to discuss business. I ended up a mile downstream. That's probably why the search team didn't find me. Dilbert: Yup.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management, #strategy, #productivity, #humane, #inhumane, #treatment, #surveillance, #watching, #privacy, #work, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We are going to start monitoring employee productivity in real time. Any questions? Dilbert: I need one clarification. Are you saying you removed the last shred of human dignity from our jobs and reduced us to nothing but a meat machine that suffers in a state of perpetual inadequacy as each person is compared to an arbitrary and ever-growing goal until there is no realistic way for the employee to find happiness through natural means? Boss: That's one way to look at it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales personnel, #salesman, #sales, #honesty, #deception, #stragegy, #sociopath, #lying, #lie, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I need you to join me on a sales call to tell my customer how easy it will be to switch to our software. Dilbert: It isn't easy. Man: This is a sales call. All you need to do is say everything will be easy. Dilbert: What happens when they find out it isn't easy? Man: They won't find out until after they pay us. Dilbert: What will you do when they complain? Man: I'll tell your boss you misled them. Dilbert: Not if I warn him first! Man: Too late. I already told him you're a liar.

After Work Activities

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
After Work Activities - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #misogyny, #sexism, #camaraderie, #personality, #complaining, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: The men never invite me to after-work activities. Catbert: We'll need to find out if the problem is sexism or your personality.Alice: I decided not to dig into it. Boss: I think you'll be happy with your decision.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #excuse, #paradox, #logic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How's the software coming along? Wally: We're in the Zeno's paradox phase of the project. Boss: The what? Wally: It means every step we take gets us halfway closer to launch. Boss: Can you keep up that pace? Wally: I'm hoping it will look that way. Boss: Is Zeno's paradox a real thing? Dilbert: You'll find out. Narrator: Next Week. Boss: How's your project? Wally: Halfway closer than last week.

How To Send The File

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How To Send The File - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #brenna thummler, #cloud, #files, #guest artist, #options, #sharing, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: Can you send me the file? Dilbert: Do you want it by email, Dropbox, Google Drive, iCloud Drive, Airdrop, or Creative Cloud? Ted: Surprise me. Dilbert: The surprise will be if you find it.

Self Empowered Week

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Self Empowered Week - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #honesty, #aspirations, #work ethic, #standards, #guest artist, #jake tapper

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I want all of you to be creative, self-empowered, and accountable. Wally: If I could do any of that stuff, why would I work here? I just find the whole thing confusing.

Tina Wants A Work Husband

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Wants A Work Husband - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marriage, #Women, #nagging, #wife, #wives, #criticism, #yelling, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I'm in the market for a "work husband." Do you have a "work wife" yet? Dilbert: I'm not sure. Alice criticized me a lot. Does that count? Tina: That's all I wanted to do, too. Dilbert: Okay, but don't let Alice find out.

Boss Wears Virtual Reality Goggles

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Wears Virtual Reality Goggles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vr, #virtual reality, #deception, #laziness, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I convinced our boss to wear virtual reality goggles all day. Boss: Good job, Wally! I've never seen you work so many hours! Wally: reality is nice, but I find it limiting.