Pretend To Be Angry Comic Strips - Page 30

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

305 Results for Pretend To Be Angry

View 291 - 300 results for pretend to be angry comic strips. Discover the best "Pretend To Be Angry" comics from Dilbert.com.

Insurance For Phones

Thank you for voting.
Insurance For Phones  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 2017's comic on:


Tags #cell phone, #technology, #insurance, #break, #screen, #cracked

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The company that insures our mobile phone product is angry because 100 percent of our phones break in the first minute. They say it's a disaster and it is putting them out of business. What should I tell them? Boss: Tell them they should have gotten some sort of insurance.

Pretending To Be Helpful

Thank you for voting.
 Pretending To Be Helpful - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2018's comic on:


Tags #insulting, #coworkers, #consultation, #indirect, #pretend, #helpful, #grammar, #slide deck

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert consults Never insult your co-worers directly. Instead, undermine their confidence by pretending to be helpful. Wally: let me know if you need help fixing the grammar in your slide deck. Alice: what?

Dogbert's Personality Profiles

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert's Personality Profiles   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2018's comic on:


Tags #consultant, #personality, #test, #business, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I have the results of your Dogbert Personality Profiles. Based on your questionnaire answers, Alice is angry, Wally is lazy, and Dilbert is boring. Dilbert: How are we supposed to use this new information? Dogbert: Wake me up when he's done talking.

No Good Ideas In Decades

Thank you for voting.
No Good Ideas In Decades - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2018's comic on:


Tags #ideas, #candid, #ageism, #conversation, #speaking, #talking

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: May I make a suggestion? Dilbert: Sure. Do you mind if I only pretend to listen because you haven't had a good idea in several decades? Man: That's fine. I was only looking forward to the part where I'm talking. Dilbert: Proceed.

Exactly What Guilty People Say

Thank you for voting.
Exactly What Guilty People Say  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2018's comic on:


Tags #conspiracy, #accusation, #guilt, #innocence, #logic, #rumor

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: How conspiracy theories happen... Carol: Alice says you deleted her files on the server. Dilbert: That didn't happen. She's nuts. Carol: Ha! You wouldn't be so angry if it weren't true. Dilbert: What? That doesn't even make sense. Carol: That's exactly what guilty people say. Narrator: Continued...

Deducing Rank

Thank you for voting.
Deducing Rank - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 2018's comic on:


Tags #hierarchy, #rank, #marketing, #jargon, #lingo, #adspeak, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I don't know how to answer your question because I got here late and I haven't deduced your rank in the company. Woman: I'm the new director of Marketing, so you need to pretend my question makes sense. Dilbert: Give me a minute to get into that mindset. Woman: Take your time.

Aggressive Littering

Thank you for voting.
Aggressive Littering - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2018's comic on:


Tags #guilt, #plea, #charges, #littering, #murder, #rich people, #discrimination

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I thought you were going to jail for murdering the clients of your cryogenic investment firm. Dogbert: I argued that my clients were already dead. The judge reduced the charge to "aggressive littering." Dilbert: You kicked two-hundred unfrozen brains into the river. Dogbert: You sound just like that angry prosecutor.

Arguing With Idiots

Thank you for voting.
Arguing With Idiots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 2018's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #secret, #tip, #arguing, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Wally, how do you stay happy while the rest of us are stressed out? Wally: It's easy. Instead of arguing with idiots, I pretend I agree with them so they'll leave me alone. Asok: That sounds risky. Wally: Yes, I agree.

Dilbert And Monkeys

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert And Monkeys - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2018's comic on:


Tags #motivation, #work ethic, #engagement, #monkeys

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I don't feel my job is helping me reach my human potential. Boss: We only pay you because monkeys are hard to train and robots are expensive. Dilbert; Maybe I'll just play with my phone and pretend to work. Boss: That's what got the monkey fired.

Contractor Wants To Be Employee

Thank you for voting.
Contractor Wants To Be Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 2018's comic on:


Tags #negotiation, #contract work, #contractor, #pay.wages

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I've been a contractor here for over a year. Maybe you should just hire me. Boss: Who are you? I didn't even know I was paying you. Man: Perhaps we can pretend this conversation never happened. Boss: That feels like the best option.