Sales Person Comic Strips - Page 30
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Character
408 Results for Sales Person
View 291 - 300 results for sales person comic strips. Discover the best "Sales Person" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday July 17,
2010
Tags #meeting, #customer, #wear jacket, #lazy, #optimism, #business
Transcript
Wally says, "I'm on my way to a meeting with a prospective customer." Wally says, "We have such a long sales gestation period that the value of my efforts won't be known for two years." Wally says, "Just remember that optimism looks exactly like doing nothing."
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Thursday December 16,
2010
Tags #same facial hair, #weird haitdo, #unique, #need to be original
Transcript
Coworker says, "Gaaa!!! The second-uncoolest person in the world has my same facial hair!" Coworker says, "And the uncoolest person in the world is clean-shaven. You're leaving me no place to go!" Later that month Alice says, "I don't see it catching on." Coworker says, "Give it time."
Wednesday February 04,
2009
Tags #job, #interview, #disappointment, #humiliation, #business
Transcript
Dogbert says, "You survived the rigorous interview process, but there are no openings in engineering." Dogbert says, "However, I am prepared to offer you a position in sales." Dilbert says, "You mean a job?" Dogbert says, "No, just a position." Dilbert says, "This took and ugly turn."
Saturday February 21,
2009
Tags #economy, #ridiculous, #fear
Transcript
Tree says, "The economy scared me so badly that I turned into a tree." Dilbert says, "What?" Tree says, "It's the same as a blind person developing better hearing." Tree says, "When you're stealing cat food from convenience stores, I'll be living large on rainwater."
Wednesday March 04,
2009
Tags #conversation, #lying, #deception
Transcript
The boss says, "I'll be right back after I inoculate our CEO." The boss says, "If you ever decide to reduce our layers of management, Carl is worthless and he thinks your kids look like the director of sales." The boss thinks, "That should buy me a few months."
Wednesday June 03,
2009
Tags #leadership, #assignment, #describing, #happy, #ridiculous
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Ratbert you're my new VP of sales." Dogbert says, "Your job is to set impossible goals for the salespeople and punish them for failing." Ratbert says, "Yay! I always wanted to be a sadist!" Dogbert says, "Dreams do come true."
Thursday June 04,
2009
Tags #meeting, #confrontation, #hunchback, #deformed, #boss, #ridiculous, #business
Transcript
Ratbert : VP of sales Ratbert says, "Humphrey, you're scaring all of our customers." Ratbert says, "Try to be less pitchforkable." Ratbert says, "Seriously. Can you do that?" Humphrey says, "Who wants a hug?!"
Friday June 05,
2009
Tags #meeting, #boss, #raising, #hands, #cruel, #threat, #business
Transcript
Ratbert: VP of sales Ratbert says, "I'm accompanying Humphrey on this sales call so he can learn from the master." Ratbert says, "I'll begin by giving you something, thus triggering your need to reciprocate." Ratbert says, "Who wants to hit Humphrey with a shovel?"
Thursday June 18,
2009
Tags #talking, #woman, #insane, #crazy, #dating, #weird, #relationships
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Hi. My name is?" Woman says, "Whoa! Whoa! Not in person!" Woman says, "I only meet men through online dating sites. That way I can filter out the losers." Dilbert says, "Too crazy too fast." Woman says, "I know. I'm working on that."
Monday June 29,
2009
Tags #sitting, #news, #deception, #evil
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Sales are tanking because our online reviews are awful." The boss says, "Cripple a feature and change the model number so the online reviews look stale." Dilbert says, "Wow. That was a lot of evil packed into one sentence." The boss says, "Thank you."