2003 Comic Strips - Page 30

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags tunnel digging, prototype, escaped the lab, perth australia, combined enity, cyborg, popular, trick with dirt

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Dilbert: "My tunnel-digging prototype escape the lab and burrowed into a picknicker in Perth, Australia." "The combined entity is a cyborg that has proven to be surprisingly popular at parties." "Ha ha! Do the trick with the dirt!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags budget for research and development, confidential, witty, appreciation, laugh, teeth fall out

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Alice: "Ted, what's the budget for Research and Development?" Ted: "It's confidential. I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you. Hee hee!" Alice: "I've never heard that one. It's very witty." Alice: "Allow me to show my appreciation with the following fake laugh." "HA HA HA HA HA HA!!" "HA HA HA HA HA!!!" Alice: "Those are my real teeth. I need them back."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags guest cartoonist, nildo orbfutz, consulting, welocme, breakroom, on the job training

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"Who's today's guest cartoonist?" "At great expense, I've just hired Nildo Orbfutz as a consultant. He will increase our productivity hereby calculating how much time is actually wasted!" "Well, Nildo. How did you acquire your credentials? Degree in business management? HR? PR? Psychology?" "On-the-job training." "Let me guess: you've been fired from every job you ever had... for wasting time?" "Welcome to the wonderfuk world of consulting." "Answer: go to Dilbert.com."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags guest cartoonist, rob the dinosuar, bob, million degrees, costume, you idiot, no pay, every has cotsume

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Whos todays Guest Cartoonist? Hi rob the dinosaur here! Today I want to.... cut! Your name is Bob! Sir, Its like a million degrees in here, Cant we take a two minute break? No! You'll do it until you get it right. you idiot! you have dissected me. no pay for you! I hate dilbert, SSH! HE'll hear you! Answer: Go to Dilbert.com

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hapy, spacious offcie, ocean view, workplace, personalized environemnt, brad pitt

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"Who's today's guest cartoonist?" Dilbert: "I'm so happy in my new spacious office with an ocean view." "Finally I have the workplace I've always dreamed of." Wally: "The personalized environment headset works, sir." The boss: "Brad Pitt! Shouldn't you put a shirt on?" ANSER: GO TO DILBERT.COM

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags black shoes, cubicle, days of our lives, feel oddly drawn, life has purpose, mind altering day

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Who's today's guest cartoonist? Dilbert: This isn't my cubicle. Wally: Your horoscope says you'll have a "Mind altering" day Dilbert: I feel oddly drawn to watch "days of our lives" Wally: You look oddly drawn Dilbert: Im going to go to the mall and try on black shoes! Wally: wow! your life finally has a purpose * Answer: GO TO DILBERT.COM

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dilbert died, funeral, casket, running with sciccors, what does mean, pastor, newspapaer slots open, money, ka ching

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WHos Todays Guest Cartoonist? ...when I first heard Dilbert had died while running with scissors,I , too was stunned.I too, asked "whats it all mean?" That 2, 247 newspaper slots are now wiiiiide open , baby! ...ka-ching! ka-Ching! ...sorry about the ka -things. *answer: go to Dilbert.com

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags alternative universes, Dilbert, therapy session, dense objects, space time fold, fabric, whats happening?

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Dilbert: All week I felt like I was driving through alternative universes I was me, But Was different. Therapist: Have you been near any dense objects that would make the fabric of space-time fold onto itself? ONE WEEK AGO The Boss: will there be any unforeseen problems? Dilbert: whats happening to me?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boosting prformance, vacation days, use all, recahrged, issed days, copeantetive advantage, retirement, return, 15 year vacation, 20 years in minutes

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"I have an idea for boosting my performance." "You wisely coached us to use all of our vacation days every year." "Because we come back recharged!" "Our renewed motivation is more than enough to compensate for ths missed days." "My plan is to leverage that competitive advantage." "I'll take a fifteen year vacation and return ten minutes before retirement." "Then I'll be so recharged that I'll pounce and do twenty years of work in minutes!!" "Unless it's near a holiday, in which case, do you mind if I leave early?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lunch time, barely came late, work, eat, plaumbing, read apaper, non urgency, moring at offcie, slacker, stale job

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"Are you going to lunch?" "Lunch already?" "Sheesh! I barely had time to come late to work, eat breakfast, use the plumbing and read the paper." "You take your non-work seriously." "I'm trying to develop a sense of non-urgency."