Always A Troll Comic Strips - Page 31
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343 Results for Always A Troll
View 301 - 310 results for always a troll comic strips. Discover the best "Always A Troll" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday July 29,
2016
Dashboard Never Changes
Tags deception, trick, technology, status, ruse
Transcript
Boss: I noticed that the project dashboard you wrote for me never changes. Dilbert: That's because our projects are always doing great. Boss: It's a static image, isn't it? Dilbert: You're gonna wish you asked that three weeks ago.
Tuesday August 09,
2016
Expectations
Tags expectations, misanthrope, happiness, contentment, psychology
Transcript
Asok: Why is Alice always so angry? Wally: It's a function of her unrealistic expectations. I'm never disappointed because I expect people to be ignorant, self-absorbed, and useless. Asok: Present company excluded? Wally: And there it is.
Saturday September 03,
2016
Why Didn't You Tell Me Sooner
Friday October 28,
2016
Men Who Do The Driving
Tags dating, driving, Men, conversation, relationships
Transcript
Woman: I like a man who always offers to do the driving on dates? Dilbert: Like Uber? Woman: But less expensive, and no waiting. Dilbert; So you're saying I'm better than Uber? Woman: You would be if you didn't talk.
Sunday December 25,
2016
Tags jargon, speech, words, nonsense, training, trainee, strategy, laziness
Transcript
Boss: Wally, I want you to train our new hire. Wally: The first thing you need to know is that we never use the DPX system when the MGB is down. Man: The... what and the what? Wally: Hold your questions till the end. You can use our PX4 to tunnel into the B9 data and produce at TMNP report. But you'll need authorization from the LDG and the MICOO. Man: I don't understand any of that! Wally: I toldy you to hold your questions until the end. Always remember to jost the primpram whenever the gip is fleeming toward kilp. Man: Maybe I should ask someone else to train me. Wally: Now we're making progress.
Sunday January 08,
2017
Tags human, human nature, arguing, argument, social media, logic, critic, troll, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: If we move this button to here, people are more likely to see it. Man: Ha ha! OMG. LOL. So you think every person in the universe is blind? I can't wait to tell everyone that Dilbert thinks people have no eyes. The pure craziness of what you are saying is mid-boggling. Do you have any scientific proof that moving that button would not cause a nuclear holocaust? Dilbert: Everything you just said is dumb and unproductive, and I hate every molecule in your useless body. What's wrong with people? Dogbert: I keep tell you, it's everything.
Sunday March 05,
2017
Tags time, delay, leaving, schedule, inconsiderate
Transcript
Woman: Can you take a look at the prototype? It keeps crashing. Dilbert: I was just leaving for the day. Woman: It will only take ten minutes. Dilbert: I came to work early so I could leave early and beat the traffic. Woman: No problem. It will only take ten minutes. Dilbert: It's never ten minutes! People always say it will be ten minutes, but it's never ten minutes! I give up! Where is it? Woman: Find it in the lab. I need to leave early to beat the traffic.
Tuesday March 28,
2017
Wanting More Out Of Life
Wednesday May 03,
2017
Tina Has Phone Anxiety
Tags cell phone, boredom, time, killing time, anxiety, addiction, distraction, technology
Transcript
Tina: I'm having a lot of anxiety because my mobile phone is broken. What happens if I need to stand in line for something? What would I do while I waited? Dilbert: You need an invisible friend. Tina: I have one, but she's always on her phone.
Tuesday July 04,
2017
Immersive Vr Employee Is Creepy
Tags reality, virtual reality, vr, sanity, hallucination, fantasy, imagination, therapy, psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: We hired an immersive VR employee and it's freaking me out. I can only see him when I wear my VR goggles. I feel as if he's always watching me. Doctor: Sounds like you're crazy. I can fix that with a prescription cocktail that will turn you into an entirely new person. Kevin: Run.