Dumpy White Guy Section Comic Strips - Page 31

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

428 Results for Dumpy White Guy Section

View 301 - 310 results for dumpy white guy section comic strips. Discover the best "Dumpy White Guy Section" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

The new guy used to be a free-ranger. Let's go watch him get broken. "I'm there." "They say he was a photographer. Never been cubicled." "He'll be tough." "I'll lasso him with the necktie and you put the employee manual on his back."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #competition, #sales, #sales personnel

View Transcript

Transcript

The land of unrealistic business assumptions. Dilbert: We need to find some assumptions about future sales. Dang! There's only one way across and it's blocked by an inebriated hillbilly. Dogbert: In the land of unrealistic assumptions, this guy is your only competitor.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"When you worked here, you signed a non-compete agreement." "It clearly states that you are not allowed to earn money, sleep indoors, procreate or seek medical care." "Section 5B describes what you must now do with this ceremonial dagger."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

I've written a future best-selling book. "It's part fake autobiography and part plagiarism." Moby Dog Publisher Pitch "You were a large white whale? Wow!" "Until I married Mary Magdalene."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"I want you to write a business case for lobbying our government to attack Elbonia." "In the risk analysis section, do you want me to assume that hell is real or imaginary?" "Real. But remember to discount the infinite future flows of agony to the present so it doesn't look so bad."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

There's a little thing I like to do before any meeting with a marketing guy. BONK! "This way there's more congruence between the things you say and the way you look."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Alice, interview the guy in our conference room and see what he can do for us." "I'm going to bonk your head on the table. If it sounds empty, you'll work in marketing." "How did it go?" "I bonked too hard. We just got a new sales guy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Customers are complaining that our price stickers leave white crud on the product. "Our action plan is to include directions on how to lick it off." "What about fingernails?" "Why would you lick fingernails?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Our sales guy vastly underbid a job. Now it's my project to install the system in a way that's profitable. "Blame your customer for underspecifying the features then charge her through the nose for change orders." "Three million dollars for an electrical plug?" "The base model uses a potato battery."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

A disturbing number of you have requested the return of Loud Howard. "Loud Howard is one-dimensional. There is nothing clever or insightful about him. He is simply loud." "It is a mystery why anyone would want more of this guy." "THEY LOVE ME!!!"