Making No Sense Comic Strips - Page 31

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

406 Results for Making No Sense

View 301 - 310 results for making no sense comic strips. Discover the best "Making No Sense" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 2001's comic on:


Tags #inform carol, #whereabouts, #wandering around, #canceled policy, #stupid policy, #work for carol, #keeping track everyone

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally are facing The Boss at a conference table. The Boss says, "Yesterday I needed to ask Dilbert a question but I couldn't find him." The Boss' voice continues, "From now on, each of you must inform Carol of your whereabouts at all times." Alice turns to Wally and whispers, "Handle it." Wally walks past Carol's desk with a coffee cup in his hand. He reports, "I'll be wandering around with my coffee cup." He continues, as Carol frowns in the background: "If I find a newspaper I'll take a break in marketing's luxurious rest facilities." He continues, "Then I'll stop by the cute intern's cubicle to do some flirting." Carol sits thoroughly irritated and he continues nonetheless: "I stand in her doorway so she can't escape. I think I'm making progress." He goes to take a sip of coffee and concludes, "I'm becoming immune to pepper spray." Carol enters The Boss' office and says, "I canceled your stupid policy." The Boss continues to read the newspaper, unaffected.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 2013's comic on:


Tags #choosing, #thinking, #intuition, #make decisions

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I wonder if I should rely more on my intuition to make decisions. Dogbert: You mean guessing? Dilbert: No. Guessing is totally different from intuition because of the... um... These things make sense in my head! Dogbert: Is there room in there with all of the intuition?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 2013's comic on:


Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #managers & supervisors, #appear charistmatic, #high expectations, #character flaws, #your end, #charisma, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Experts say I can appear charismatic by setting high expectations. Dilbert: Or maybe you could improve your charisma by fixing your character flaws instead of making me work harder. Boss: No, I'm fairly sure the problem with my charisma is on your end.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 2013's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #replacing system, #outdated, #gamification, #hot new trend, #employees wins, #badges, #ribbons, #awrds, #cash value, #garbage, #emotional value

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're replacing our outdated system of annual performance reviews. The new system is called Gramification. It's a hot new trend. Employees can win badges, ribbons, and awards for completing tasks. Dilbert: Can we opt for the cash value of those badges, ribbons, and awards? Boss: They don't have any cash value. Dilbert: Oh. Like garbage? Boss: No, not like garbage! Except in the narrow sense of having no functional, economic, or emotional value. Garbage is something you throw away. Dilbert: Hand me an award and watch carefully.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 2013's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #telecommuting, #coworkers, #casual inetractions, #infected toe, #photo of toe

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I canceled all telecommuting because there is so much value in having co-workers interact with each other in the office. Boss: Yes, it makes perfect sense. We want to get all of the value of casual interactions. Coworker: Do you want to see a picture of my infected toe?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 2013's comic on:


Tags #discussion, #how-to, #obstinacy, #rules of leadership, #context, #books, #different approach, #real leaders, #magic formula, #gullible baboon, #throughout history, #random book, #Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm reading a great management book about the rules of leadership. Dilbert: Allow me to put that in context. There are probably 10,000 books about leadership, and each one has a different approach. And there are millions of real leaders, of which no two are alike. Moreover, every situation is unique and requires a different type of leader. And yet this one author has found a magic formula to transform you from a gullible baboon into a great leader. And that makes sense because all great leaders throughout history achieved success by reading a random book. Boss: I don't like context. Dilbert: It isn't popular.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2013's comic on:


Tags #honesty, #managers & supervisors, #secret of success, #plan b, #two hairballs, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Asok, the secret to success is making your boss look good. Asok: What if my boss looks like two hairballs on an infected bladder? There's no way to make that look good. Boss: You're not off to a strong start. Asok: Please tell me there's a Plan B.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2013's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #era, #original signature, #signatures, #time machine, #telegraph system

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: You'll need to mail me the original signature page after everyone signs it. Dilbert: No problem. I'll use my time machine to go back to an era in which mailing original signatures made some kind of sense. I wonder if there will ever be a way to send images over the telegraph system.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2013's comic on:


Tags #apathy, #sleeping & waking up, #work ethic, #aggressive recruiter, #passive job seeker, #hidden gems, #passive, #falling in love

View Transcript

Transcript

Recruiter: I'm an aggressive recruiter looking for passive job seekers. Passive job seekers are hidden gems for recruiters, and you're the most passive one I've ever seen. Stop making me love you! Wally: ZZZZZZ.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 2013's comic on:


Tags #surveillance, #terrorists, #film colonoscpy, #video, #hide in caves, #violation of privacy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Dilbert says the government wants me to film my colonoscopy and give them the video so they can check for terrorists. Catbert: That makes perfect sense. Terrorists come in all sizes and they like to hide in caves. Boss: It seems like a violation of my privacy. Catbert: Whose side are you on?