Catbert Comic Strips - Page 31

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

655 Results for Catbert

View 301 - 310 results for Catbert comic strips. Discover the best "Catbert" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags evil director, downsizing, human way, marketing ones, giant dung beetle, ball, poor performers

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "The downsizing will be handled in the most humane way I could think of." "I hired a giant dung beetle to roll the poor performers into a ball and out the door." "I can't get the marketing ones to stick. They keep sliding off."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Here's your coffee. Maybe the wizard can give you some ambition. "Aaah..." "Aren't you afraid that the wicked witch will send her winged cat after us?" "Say what?" "I need headcount for my project. Bring them to me!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Your resume looks great. I see no reason you wouldn't be an excellent phone center employee. "Mwab blah glob wobmah tob muh wah wah." "This job got a lot less stressful once I realized I hate our customers."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

The ex-photographer I hired isn't doing well in captivity. "Is he dying?" "Not yet. It's more of a panda situation." "Would you like to mate?" "I couldn't be less interested."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Your powers of cuteness are formidable indeed, but can you do..." "THIS?" "Oh crud. You win. Why do I even try?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

You're too cute to work in engineering. I'm transferring you to sales. "No one wants to hurt a baby. Use that to your advantage." "And if you buy the deluxe package I won't be emotionally scarred for life."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources<Br>"Alice, you've been accused of making dismissive facial expressions." "You have also muttered the following sounds during meetings: piff, bah, ffff, and ssstoop." "Did anyone complain about this expression? I like to use it in these situations." "No, that's still good."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Heh heh! I'll turn my monitor so no passersby can see what I'm doing. "Is he working? Dang! I can't tell." zzzzz "I'm starting to think I can't read people." "Dude. I wasn't kidding. Come back later!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

I'm too busy to learn anything about the projects I'm managing. "I barely have enough time to make critical decisions about them." "Maybe you're lazy and stupid." "Let's go down to the pond and throw rocks at the ducks."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

I enrolled in a distance learning class to get my master's degree. "Uh-oh." "GAAA! GAAA! GAAA!" "Is the online degree hard?" "Not so much. I'm taking my midterm exam as we speak."