Big Plot Comic Strips - Page 31

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

338 Results for Big Plot

View 301 - 310 results for big plot comic strips. Discover the best "Big Plot" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lying, deception, secret, choosing, choices

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Don't tell Dilbert I told you what he plans to do. Alice: What if he asks me how I found out? Man: You should lie. Alice: You have given me two bad choices. If I don't change my plans based on this new information, I'll have big problems. But if I act on it, Dilbert will ask me how I knew, and that will turn me into a liar. Man: Yes, those are your only options. Alice: Unless... Man: There's no "unless." You have only two options. Just two! Alice: Have you ever seen the view from the roof?

View more books now

Traffic App

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Traffic App - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags excuses, lying, app, technology, busted, caught

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Sorry I"m late. There was a big accident on the freeway. Boss: Not according to my traffic app. Wally: Just out of curiosity, what types of excuses are impossible to check with an app?

Financial Forecaster Quit

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Financial Forecaster Quit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, money, projection, prediction, Advice

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our financial forecaster quit. I need you to fill in for him. Dilbert: I don't know how to do financial forecasts. Boss: Neither did he. Dilbert: How were you making decisions? Boss: It's better if we don't excavate that septic tank.

Worthless Financial Projections

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Worthless Financial Projections - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags money, finances, big business, projection, prediction, guessing, estimate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Here's the financial projection you asked me to do. It's basically just guessing plus math. Obviously, it's useless for making decisions because I can get any result I want by tweaking the assumptions. Boss: Don't say any of that stuff when you present it to the board tomorrow.

If We Are Off By One Percent

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
If We Are Off By One Percent - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags projection, prediction, finances, big business, guess, estimate, obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: According to my highly unreliable forecast, we're on the right track. But if even one of my seventeen assumptions is off by one percent, we are doomed. The obvious conclusion is that... Board: We're nailing it!

Doctor And Dopamine

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Doctor And Dopamine - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags addiction, impulse control, social media, twitter, facebook, pharmaceuticals, drugs, gambling, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Doctor: The MRI shows that your brain has been hijacked by dopamine pirates. You are now under the full control of social media corporations, gambling casinos, and big pharma. Boss: Are you writing me a prescription? Doctor: No, I'm buying stock in those companies.

Product Is Too Addictive

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Product Is Too Addictive - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags social media, technology, facebook, twitter, addiction, big business, impulse control

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm worried that we designed our product to be too addictive. Now we're more like a disease than a consumer product. Boss: Will you stop talking like that if I give you a raise? Dilbert: It's worth a try.

Animal Testing Is Done

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Animal Testing Is Done - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags app, technology, addiction, morals, big business, ethics

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The animal testing for our app is done. The app is so addictive that Zimbu the monkey was hospitalized for starvation while using it. I think we all know what we need to do. Boss: Submit it to the app store?

Asok's Phone Case

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok's Phone Case - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cell phone, aesthetics, impractical, practicality, break, screen, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I kept dropping my phone and breaking it, so now I keep it wrapped in a big ball of cotton. Wally: Why would you buy a phone that breaks so easily? Asok: I like the way it looks.

Sunk Costs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sunk Costs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags money, big business, logic, loss, deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The economics of the project have changed. We need to shut it down. Boss: If we stop now, the $10 million we already spent will be wasted. Dilbert: And if we stop later? Boss: The trick is to never finish the project.