Computer Programmers Comic Strips - Page 31
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646 Results for Computer Programmers
View 301 - 310 results for computer programmers comic strips. Discover the best "Computer Programmers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday April 17,
1999
Tags computer manufacturer, threats, to kill, freeze up, supportive police
Transcript
Dilmom opens her door to two policemen holding guns. Cop one says, "We have a report that you threatened to kill a computer manufacturer." Dilbert's mom pionts to the computer and says, "It freezes up five times a day. I have to unplug it to turn it off." The cops put down their guns. Cop 1 says, "Okay, we're with you. When's it going down?" Dilmom says, "Is tuesday good?"
Wednesday April 21,
1999
Tags dogbert consults, eliminate phone support, via internet, discourage people, ominous list, personal questions
Transcript
Caption: "Dogbert Consults" Sogbert stands on the boss's desk. DOgbert says, "Eliminate phone support for your product. Provide help only via the internet." Dogbert's tail wags and he says, "Then discourage people by making them answer an ominous list of personal questions." Man looks terrified in front of his computer the computer screen reads, "1. What is your home address? 2. When do you shower?"
Wednesday April 28,
1999
Tags pick up phone, calling and calling, fist of death, gnawed, wall to escape
Transcript
Alice stands behind Asok who sits at his computer. Alice says, "Asok, I've been calling and calling, but you don't pick up your phone." Alice pushes up her sleeve and says, "I'd like you to meet a little something I call the "fist of death." Wally and Dilbert look at a tattered hole in a cubicle wall. Wally says, "It looks like he gnawed through the wall to escape."
Monday May 03,
1999
Tags boss is away, unscrupulous, employee, send email, account, odd looking nostrils
Transcript
Wally looks into the boss' office. Wally thinks, "The boss is away." Wally stands by the boss' desk and thinks, "An unscrupulous employee could send e-mail from his account." Wally types at the boss' computer "The following employees have odd-looking nostrils."
Thursday May 06,
1999
Tags reliable computer, use software, poing a spoon, hole in back, doing it worng
Transcript
Dilmom is at a computer store. The salesman says, "This is our most reliable computer, unless you try to use software." The salesman says, "It'll freeze several times a day. But you can restart it by poking a spoon into a hole in the back." Dilbert's mom says, "Has that ever worked?" The salesman says, "We think people are doing it wrong."
Thursday May 13,
1999
Tags old binders, landfill, fedex, marketing, look expose reports, business
Transcript
Asok stands with a box behind Wally who sits at his computer. Asok says, "Wally, what is the quickest way to send this old binders to the landfill?" Wally says, "I usually use "Fedex". Charge it to marketing; they never look at their expense reports" Asok walks away and thinks, "here's one more thing I can never tell anyone about my job."
Saturday May 15,
1999
Tags completes portion, project, well engineered, squadron, idiots, ruin, marketing, napping, use ears, coasters, business
Transcript
Dilbert types at his computer and thinks, "This completes my portion of the project." Dilbert thinks, "This project is so well-engineered it would take a squadron of idiots to ruin it." Caption: "Meanwhile in Marketing" A stupid looking man dressed very sloppily says, "And when I'm napping, it is NOT okay to use my ears as coasters."
Tuesday May 18,
1999
Tags clip on ear, hurts, double check, called pager, on ear
Transcript
The boss stands behind Wally who sits at his computer. The boss has his pager clipped to his ear and says, "Wally, are you sure this kind of pager is supposed to clip on my ear?" The boss says, "It hurts. Maybe you can call someone to double-check." Wally says, "Good idea." and dials a number. The boss flinches in pain as his pager buzzes. Wally says, "Is there anything else I can do for you?"
Friday May 21,
1999
Tags attached tracking device, compromise, spy satellite, radio network, next weekend, date tried to run, nod once
Transcript
Dilbert takes his coat off at home. Dilbert says, to dogbert, "My date tried to run away, but I attached a tracking device to her coat." Dilbert holds a microphone and site by his computer. Dilbert says, "Now I'll just compromise a spy satellite and a radio network." Dilbert's date lies in bed at her house. Her radio says, "....So id next weekend is good, nod once."
Monday June 14,
1999
Tags company resources, resume, headhunter, perfect crime, got mail
Transcript
Alice types at her computer and thinks, "heh-heh.. I'm usig compnay resources to e-mail my resume to a headhunter Alice thinks, "It's the perfect crime." The boss sits at his computer. The boss says, "I've got mail!"

