Drink Coffee Comic Strips - Page 31
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398 Results for Drink Coffee
View 301 - 310 results for drink coffee comic strips. Discover the best "Drink Coffee" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday August 12,
2013
Tags competition (psychology), laziness, passive job seeker, rope, sleeping, tied up, coffee cup, chair, bound
Transcript
Recruiters Recruiter 1: Hey, is that a passive job seeker? Wally: ZZZZZZ. Recruiter 2: Back off! I saw him first. This rope hols my place until he wakes up. Wally: ZZZZZZ. I will pay you a thousand dollars to drop a long straw in this cup.
Friday August 16,
2013
Tags cruelty, grades, managers & supervisors, small animal snuff film, sociopath module, punch a squirrel, extra credit, coffee pot, business
Transcript
Dilbert: I heard you got booted off the management fast track. Wally: Yeah. I fell asleep during the small animal snuff film and failed the sociopath module. Dilbert: That seems harsh. Wally: I offered to punch a squirrel, but they don't allow extra credit.
Thursday August 29,
2013
Tags coffee & tea, inventions, violence, garbage disposal, killed, murder, competetive
Transcript
Robot: Here is your coffee, as requested. Some guy tried to take the last cup, so I strangled him and put his remains down the garbage disposal. Wally: It's weird how that makes the coffee taste so much better.
Monday October 28,
2013
Tags cruelty, managers & supervisors, work ethic, employees work harder, caring managers, sausage casing, business
Transcript
Boss: According to studies, employees will work harder if they think their managers care about them. But that's hard for me because you're basically a sausage casing full of coffee and rotting organs. Dilbert: That must have stung. Wally: Less than you'd think.
Sunday November 17,
2013
Tags illness, laziness, sitting disease, sit all day, bad health, safety more eimportant, drink coffee instead
Transcript
Wally: I've got a bad case of something the experts call "sitting disease." Studies show that people who sit all day for their jobs have 40% greater chance of dying in the next three years. Company policy says safety is more important than productivity, right? Boss: Um... sort of. Wally: So instead of sitting at my desk working, I plan to walk around and drink coffee. For safety reasons. Boss: GO sit at your desk or you're fired. There's a good chance this problem will resolve itself within three years.
Sunday November 24,
2013
Tags discussion, meetings, drink coffee, decisons, wise
Transcript
Boss: Let's drink coffee together while I say wise things about business. Wally: Nothing would make us happier. Dilbert: Whataya got? Boss: The only reason to have meetings is to make decisions. Wally: That sounded very wise. Dilbert: Totally. Boss: I know. I"m kind of proud of that one. Wally: So what happens when you get in a meeting and realize you don't have all of the information you need to make a decision? Boss: This works better if you two don't talk.
Saturday December 28,
2013
Tags engineer, google, evolved, pure energy, apathy, in cop, coffee, desk, engineering
Transcript
Behold my greatness! I was na engineer at google before I evolved to pure energy! Behold my path that will suck the energy out of you like a monkey on an orange. Good bot, Right in the cup.
Monday February 24,
2014
Tags costumes, deception, downtrodden employee, awesome person in disguise, spider eggs, bosses coffee, survive, learned, knowledge is over rated
Transcript
Boss: Hello, downtrodden employee. I am one of you, and not an awesome person in disguise. Carol: I put spider eggs in my boss's coffee in the hope that some survive and burrow out of his body. Catbert: What have you learned so far? Boss: I learned that knowledge is overrated.
Friday February 28,
2014
Tags frustration, work ethic, drink lots of coffee, disrespect authority, reading my goals, before signing, accomplish stuff, feels good
Transcript
Boss: For some reason, your written goals for last year were "Drink lots of coffee" and "Disrespect authority." Wally: Maybe next year your goal should be something about reading my goals before you sign them. Accomplishing stuff feels good. You should try it.
Friday March 07,
2014
Tags stress, experiment, flattened organization, best play, beat each other, coffee, mugs, smooth transition, science
Transcript
Boss: Our experiment with flattened organization failed. I'm your boss again. Dilbert: I think our best pay here is to beat each other to death with our coffee mugs. Boss: No one said the transition would be smooth. Dilbert: Make the first one count.


