Idea Comic Strips - Page 31
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333 Results for Idea
View 301 - 310 results for idea comic strips. Discover the best "Idea" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday March 09,
2019
Dilbert Feels Overwhelmed
Tags life, office, office workers, panic, overwhelmed
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm feeling overwhelmed by all the things I need to get done. Boss: Have you tried eliminating your personal life? Dilbert: That took care of itself. Boss: Okay, that's the only idea I had.
Sunday March 10,
2019
Tags business ethics, engineering, government, idea, managers & supervisors, math, ocean, research, sarcasm, science, temperature, tests
Transcript
Boss: We won a government contract to measure ocean temperatures. Dilbert: Which part of the ocean? Boss: The whole ocean. Dilbert: We can't put sensors everywhere in the ocean. It's too big. Boss: We can measure a bunch of places and estimate the rest. Dilbert: So...you want me to measure 1% of the ocean's temperature and estimate the other 99%? I don't know how to do that. Boss: Try using math. Dilbert: Wouldn't it be cheaper to measure nothing and just estimate the whole thing? Boss: Every now and then you come up with a great idea.
Saturday May 11,
2019
Twitch Gets You More Work
Tags business, communication, office, office workers, project
Transcript
the boss: does anyone have an idea for fixing our communication problem with marketing? dilbert, alice, wally and asok thinking: must...not...speak or else he will assign the project to me. the boss: i saw your eye twitch. the project is all yours. alice: GAAAA!!! visually upset
Thursday June 13,
2019
Why Are Other Companies Not Doing It
Tags business, managers & supervisors, office, company, variables
Transcript
the boss to dilbert: if your idea is so good, why aren't other companies doing it? dilbert: because they are in completely different businesses with completely different variables and they don't have a genius like me working for them. the boss: what happens if we try your idea but we do it wrong? dilbert: that's called "business as usual."
Saturday July 27,
2019
The Opinionated Old Guy
Tags business, employees, internet & world wide web, old, Opinion
Transcript
the opinionated old guy: that idea will never work! unless you know some kind of "magic" that sends data through the air. dilbert: i call it wi-fi. opinionated old guy: pffft! no one wants that.
Monday August 19,
2019
Wally Is New Pet Employee
Tags boss, business ethics, criticism, employees, managers & supervisors, office workers, work ethic
Transcript
Boss: I"m looking for a new pet employee. The ideal candidate would be a brown-nosing tattler with no ethical core. Wally: That sounds like a brilliant idea, even though Dilbert says you are a moron. Boss: You got the job.
Sunday September 15,
2019
Wally Wears Headphones
Tags employees, irritation, office workers, avoidance, hear, headphones
Transcript
Alice: Do you have a minute? Wally: I can't hear you because I'm wearing noise-cancelling headphones. Alice: Maybe you could take them off for a minute. Wally: I have no idea what you are saying because I'm wearing noise-cancelling headphones. Alice: Then take them off! Wally: If I am reading your lips correctly, I believe you are asking me to "flurp tingo gloop". Alice: Forget it! I'll just let my project fail! Dilbert: How is your anti-co-worker defense system working out? Wally: I can't hear you.
Sunday September 29,
2019
Boss Recommends Blockchain
Tags boss, business, computer software, managers & supervisors, office workers, technology
Transcript
CEO: I don't understand why you are recommending blockchain for this application. Boss: My staff are the experts, but I can explain the basic idea. You see, using blockchain is like losing a necklace on the beach. Then a seagull finds the necklace and takes it back to it's nest. And we all like data security, don't we? CEO: It's almost as if you are proposing a plan you don't understand at any level. Boss: Well, yes, but keep in mind that you wouldn't understand it even if I could explain it. CEO: But you're sure someone on your staff understands it, right? Boss: Define "sure".
Thursday October 10,
2019
Need To Retrain
Friday December 06,
2019
Others Have Failed
Tags office workers, idea, technology, rodent, insult, cheese, business
Transcript
male employee: your idea won't work because others have already tried it and failed. dilbert: others have tried different things that simply remind you of my idea. i mean, you remind me of a rodent, but that doesn't prove you like cheese. employee: i love cheese


