Managers & Supervisors Comic Strips - Page 31
Search Filters
Year
- 2023
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
469 Results for Managers & Supervisors
View 301 - 310 results for managers & supervisors comic strips. Discover the best "Managers & Supervisors" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday March 08,
2020
Elbonian Consultant
Tags managers & supervisors, business, consultant, elbonia, people, local, problem, distribution, execute, Opinion, barber
Transcript
boss: i hired an elbonian consultant because we couldn't afford anyone local. dilbert: have you ever consulted in this country? elbonian consultant: no, but people are people, so i assume it isn't that different from elbonia. boss: that's enough chitchat. tell us what we should do about the problems in our distribution system. elbonian system: i recommend executing one of your distributors as a warning to the others. boss: i'm going to need a second opinion. elbonian consultant: my second opinion is that your barber must hate your guts.
Monday March 09,
2020
Dogbert In The Cloud
Tags business, managers & supervisors, personal, information, cloud, safe, worry, trust, manage, system, browser, history
Transcript
boss: i'm concerned that storing my personal information in the cloud is not safe. dilbert: don't be such a worrier. i'm sure we can trust the people who manage those systems to keep us safe. somewhere in the cloud dogbert: hee-hee! look at the browser history on this bunion-having loser.
Sunday March 15,
2020
Mandatory Blockchain Class
Tags managers & supervisors, technology, class, mandatory, blockchain, introductory, experienced, developer, instructor, phone call
Transcript
boss: you haven't completed the mandatory class on blockchain. dilbert: that's an introductory class. i'm already an experienced blockchain developer. boss: the class is mandatory. every developer needs to check the box. dilbert: just check the box for me. boss: only the instructor can do that. and i don't want to call him because he rambles on and on. dilbert looking distressed: you want me to take a two-day class so you won't have to make a phone call? boss: i knew you'd understand. dilbert: what if taking the class causes me to miss my deadlines? boss: no problem. i'll just cancel your bonus.
Tuesday March 17,
2020
Hiring Morons
Tags managers & supervisors, technology, business, technical, job, market, hire, moron, critical
Transcript
boss: the job market is so hot right now that we can only afford to hire morons. dilbert: how will we fill our critical technical jobs? boss: i just told you.
Wednesday March 25,
2020
Hiring Morons And Ted
Tags business, managers & supervisors, labor, market, hire, moron, position, ted talk, video, smart
Transcript
boss: the labor market is so tight that i had to hire a moron just to fill a position. my plan is to make him watch ted talk videos until he smartens up. dilbert: how many will it take? boss: with any luck, fifteen to seventeen will get it done.
Friday March 27,
2020
Ted Talks Might Take Your Job
Tags business, managers & supervisors, social media, technology, instagram, ted talks, smart, moron
Transcript
boss: the moron i hired keeps watching ted talks and getting smarter. he's only about three ted talks away from taking your job. ceo: there must be a way to slow him down. boss: i'll see if i can interest him in instagram.
Sunday March 29,
2020
Dilbert Did Not Say That
Tags business, managers & supervisors, office workers, boss, prototype, authority, idiot, liar, innocent, guilty
Transcript
co-worker: why did you tell our pointy-haired boss we need to do more testing on the prototype? dilbert: i didn't do anything of the sort. co-worker: carl says you did. dilbert: who is a better authority on what i said - a guy who wasn't in the room or me? co-worker: good question. on one hand, carl is an idiot and a known liar. on the other hand, it is common for guilty people to say they are innocent. dilbert: what do innocent people say when you accuse them of stuff? co-worker: who knows? just do't do it again. dilbert under distress: i didn't do it once!!!
Monday March 30,
2020
I Will Send You A List
Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, target, complicated, detail, list
Transcript
wally: and i plan to meet my targets by doing a variety of complicated things. boss: what kind of things? wally: i'll send you a detailed list. boss: what if you forget to send it? wally: with any luck, you'll forget you asked for it.
Tuesday March 31,
2020
The Secret To Managing
Tags managers & supervisors, business, manager, hire, people, smart, steal, success, rumor, job
Transcript
boss to catbert: the secret to being a great manager is hiring people who are smarter than you are. then you have to take credit for their successes so they don't take your job. i also find it helpful to start rumors that they steal.

