Shake Hand Comic Strips - Page 31

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

354 Results for Shake Hand

View 301 - 310 results for shake hand comic strips. Discover the best "Shake Hand" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags empire consultant, crown, king, attendance, present, luck, bit rate, lab coat, raise hand

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the empire builder consultant Dogbert says, "Success is just attendance plus luck." Dogbert says, "You always want to be in the general vicinity when something good happens." Dilbert says, "Wow. I just doubled the bit rate." Boss says, "Present!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags company lawyer, recall, poisonous spines, shake hands, quality assurance, arms out

View Transcript

Transcript

Company Lawyer Lawyer says, "We should consider doing a recall on our product." Lawyer says, "When it warms up, it explodes and hurls poisonous spines in every direction." The Boss says, "Where's the director of quality assurance?" Lawyer says, "Pinned to the test lab ceiling."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new product, defective, kill, recall, fix, overalls, bleach, scrubby brush, shake hands

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I have a new job for you. Our product is defective and it's killing customers." Dilbert says, "You want me to organize a recall?" The Boss says, "No." Dilbert says, "Engineer a fix?" The Boss says, "No." The Boss says, "You'll need overalls, several barrels of bleach and some sort of scrubby brush."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags book deal, ghost writer, dog, publishing, first draft, quotes, knife, dying, dead, wave hand, animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert Publishing Dogbert says, "I'm assigning a ghost writer to tighten up your first draft." Dogbert says, "Technically, he's not a ghost yet. He's just a guy who lost a knife fight." Asok says, "How long do I have to wait?" Dogbert says, "If you're in a hurry, steer him toward the window."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags class, personality, communication skills, shake hand, coffee cup, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I signed you up for a class to try and get rid of that thing you have." Dilbert says, "What thing?" The Boss says, "The thing. You know. The thing that makes you the way you are." Dilbert says, "My personality?" The Boss says, "Exactly. But we call it communication skills because it sounds less rude."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new boyfriend, coworker, angry, jack, clench fist, engineer, social, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "Dilbert, meet my new boyfriend, angry Jack." Alice says, "People say my high level of engineering skill comes at the cost of good social judgment." Dilbert says, "Alice, his name is Angry Jack." Alice says, "I think he wants to hold my hand now."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags customer, meeting, attractive woman, shake hand, handsome man, translate, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "The customer is an attractive young woman. You'll need to bring a handsome man with you to translate." The Boss says, "The translator will repeat everything you say, word for word, but he'll say it more handsomely." Dilbert says, "Hi." Customer says, "What's he jabbering about?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, customers, trust, board, write, lie, raise hand, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "How can we rebuild the trust of our customers? Let's brainstorm." Dilbert says, "We could stop using misleading benchmark tests to sell shoddy products that have hidden costs." The Boss says, "I heard someone say 'lie.' Let's write that one down."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags date, restaurant, drink, martini, olive, choke, shake hand, vortex of failure

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Maybe I can't offer as much as other guys." Dilbert says, "I spend my days clinging to the walls of my fabric-covered box while being consumed by a vortext of failure." Woman says, "But long term?" Dilbert says, "Probably choke to death on an olive."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags security consultant, meeting, angry, shake, ears up, surprise, fillings, dentist, id badge, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the Security Consultant Dogbert says, "Anyone without an I.D. badge is assumed to be an enemy combatant." Dogbert says, "Pounce on the intruder and shake him until his fillings fall out!" Alice says, "How much did we pay for that advice?" Dogbert says, "It's free. I work for the dentist across the street."