Stupid Economy Comic Strips - Page 31

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

320 Results for Stupid Economy

View 301 - 310 results for stupid economy comic strips. Discover the best "Stupid Economy" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Needs Copies

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Needs Copies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, frustrated, irritation, office, office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need three copies of this. Carol: You just literally walked past the copier. Boss: Sheesh! Forget it! Just shred the stupid document. Carol: The shredder is right behind you.

Consultant Gets No Help

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Consultant Gets No Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, lazy, managers & supervisors, selfish, stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

the new consultant: none of your department heads are cooperating with me. several are selfish, lazy and stupid, while others are actively working against me. maybe you could talk to them. ceo: i hired you so i wouldn't need to talk to losers.

Ignorant Opinions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ignorant Opinions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, criticism, insults, office workers, Opinion, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I told your boss I think your project is heading in the wrong direction. Dilbert: Given that you only know about 20% of what one should know to have an informed opinion on the topic, may I conclude that you are stupid and toxic? Man: You don't know me! Dilbert: I'm basing my opinion on the 20% I do know.

New Tv Ad

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Tv Ad - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags argument, business ethics, marketing, men and women, office workers, relations between the sexes, accuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Ben, from marketing, is here to give us a preview of our new tv ad. Ben: The opening scene shows a bunch of men who are weak and stupid, failing to solve a common problem. Then a confident and strong woman enters and solves the problem with ease. Dilbert: Isn't that incredibly sexist? Ben: No, because only the men are weak and stupid. Dilbert: And that's not sexist? Ben: Why are you being so weak and stupid? You sound like a bigot. Dilbert: I'll be quiet now. Wally: As quickly as it began, the rebellion was quashed.

Test Device Analogy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Test Device Analogy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, technology, power drill, test, device, analogy, office

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i designed the test device to be held like one would hold a power drill ted: that's stupid. that product can't drill a hole in anything ceo: good point dilbert: that's... not... how analogies work. ted: and what if i don't need to drill anything? ceo: yeah!

Imperfect Decisions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Imperfect Decisions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, project, vacation, decision, uninformed, perfect, good, stupid, smart, enemy

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: while you were on vacation, we made some decisions about your project. dilbert: those would be uninformed decisions if you made them without me. boss: don't let perfect be the enemy of good dilbert: can i let stupid be the enemy of smart?

What If You Are In A Coma

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
What If You Are In A Coma - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, cell phone, client, stupid, liar, insult, understand, die, coma

View Transcript

Transcript

phone conversation dilbert: if you have any problems with the software, just give me a call. client: what if you die or you're in a coma? dilbert: well, in those cases i would not return your call. client: so you're lying about getting back to me. dilbert: no, i'm making a normal kind of generalization, which i assumed you would understand. client: okay, so now you're calling me stupid, and you're a liar? dilbert: if a liar calls you stupid, wouldn't that mean you are smart? client: fair point dilbert: thanks, i'm proud of it.

Elbonian Spy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Spy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, elbonian, spy, engineers, economy, intellectual, property, collaborate

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i hired an elbonian spy who, i assume, will try to steal our intellectual property. it's hard to find good engineers in this economy, so that is a risk i am willing to take. dilbert, i'd like you to collaborate with him. dilbert: can we call it something else?

Rfp Process

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Rfp Process - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, rfp, proceed, stupid, technology, obsolete

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: we finished the r.f.p. process and selected a vendor. but it tool so long that all of their technology is obsolete. should i proceed stupidly? boss: it got us this far.

Pragmatist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Pragmatist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, plans, office workers, stupid, pragmatist, practical, implement, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

asok: i'm a pragmatist. i like plans that are practical. wally: not me. i like plans that can't be implemented. way less work. asok: my way sounds stupid now.