Style Of Management Comic Strips - Page 31
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358 Results for Style Of Management
View 301 - 310 results for style of management comic strips. Discover the best "Style Of Management" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday May 05,
2015
What Would You Do In A Perfect World
Tags #ideas, #bad ideas, #thinking, #scenario, #management
Transcript
Boss: In a perfect world, how would you fix the problem? Dilbert: In a perfect world you would not exist, so I would do smart things instead of whatever you tell me to do next. So... what should I do next? Boss: Let's pie-chart this thing.
Saturday June 20,
2015
Four Hour Meeting
Tags #decision, #decisions, #meeting, #meetings, #productivity, #time, #time management, #business
Transcript
Boss: Yesterday, in our four-hour meeting, we agreed to postpone the vendor selection. Dilbert: No, we agreed to use our existing vendor. Asok: I thought we agreed to cancel the whole project. Dilbert: We might need some clarity on this. Boss: Four more hours should do it.
Wednesday July 22,
2015
Removing Obstacles
Tags #hinder, #hinderance, #obstacle, #obstacles, #management, #managers, #insult, #zinger, #zing
Transcript
Boss: My job is removing obstacles. Asok: When do you leave? Dilbert: I think he was going in a different direction.
Thursday July 23,
2015
Manager Of The Year Award
Tags #attendance, #manager, #management, #laissez faire, #cause and effect, #award, #accolade
Transcript
Catbert: Employees voted you "Manager of the Year." As usual, this honor is going to the manager with the worst attendance. We're hoping it's more of a correlation than a causation thing.
Friday July 24,
2015
Sense Of Awe
Tags #management, #executives, #leader, #leadership, #overwork, #work ethic, #motivation
Transcript
Catbert: A good leader creates a sense of awe in employees. But I think you'll find it a lot faster to create a sense of "ow" instead. CEO: I need you to work all weekend again. Dilbert: Ow!
Thursday October 01,
2015
Tags #fitness, #martial arts, #violence, #fighting, #yoga, #misunderstanding, #exercise, #fusion, #danger, #health
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm almost positive yoga is not one of the martial arts. Boss: Not by itself. We're learning a defensive style of yoga that incorporates the more violent elements of feng shui and Irish dancing. Dilbert: That doesn't sound lethal. Boss: Put your head on the ground and say that again.
Monday October 26,
2015
Employees Keep Agreeing
Tags #furniture, #office, #arrangement, #laziness, #loophole, #efficiency, #management, #work ethic, #excuse
Transcript
Boss: I told the employees about our plan to boost productivity by changing the floor layout. Now they claim they can't get their work done because the current floor plan is inefficient. Hoe do I get them to stop agreeing with me? CEO: What do you usually do?
Sunday November 15,
2015
Tags #management, #strategy, #productivity, #humane, #inhumane, #treatment, #surveillance, #watching, #privacy, #work, #office workers
Transcript
Boss: We are going to start monitoring employee productivity in real time. Any questions? Dilbert: I need one clarification. Are you saying you removed the last shred of human dignity from our jobs and reduced us to nothing but a meat machine that suffers in a state of perpetual inadequacy as each person is compared to an arbitrary and ever-growing goal until there is no realistic way for the employee to find happiness through natural means? Boss: That's one way to look at it.
Saturday January 02,
2016
That's Motivation Not Stalking
Tags #compliment, #managers, #jargon, #sincerity, #insincere, #motivation, #motivate, #annoyance, #frustration
Transcript
Boss: Alice, you're doing a great job and the company values you. Alice: Your insincere management babble is making me uncomfortable. Boss: That's motivation you're feeling. Alice: I'm getting more of a stalker vibe.
Thursday February 11,
2016
Dilbert Is Picked As Company Mascot`
Tags #posture, #mascot, #success, #hunchback, #work ethic, #reward
Transcript
CEO: Management has selected Dilbert to be our new company mascot. His bad posture speaks volumes about his hard work and long hours. Dilbert: Ow! CEO: Did you ever dream you would be so successful? Dilbert: This is exactly how I dreamed it.