Technical Problems Comic Strips - Page 31

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

309 Results for Technical Problems

View 301 - 309 results for technical problems comic strips. Discover the best "Technical Problems" comics from Dilbert.com.

Technical Difficulties

Thank you for voting.
Technical Difficulties - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2019's comic on:


Tags #technical, #difficulties, #meeting, #business, #conference, #call, #audio, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: how'd your meeting go? dilbert: we spent an hour trying to get the conference call audio to work. boss: and then? dilbert: it was a one-hour meeting.

Bring Me Solutions

Thank you for voting.
Bring Me Solutions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #solutions, #problems, #worthless, #sarcasm, #example

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i want you to bring me solutions, not problems! dilbert: that's a funny way to call yourself worthless. boss: i do plenty around here! boss: but in the interest of time, i will not list any examples.

Reading Faces

Thank you for voting.
Reading Faces - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #meeting, #corrupt, #communists, #technology, #proposal, #reading faces

View Transcript

Transcript

co-worker: i can't support this project because you're all a bunch of corrupt, godless communists. dilbert: just out of curiosity, where did you get your education? co-worker: i learned everything i need to know on social media. dilbert: how does that help you evaluate a technical proposal? co-worker: it's simple. i take one look at all of your faces, and i know everything i need to know. co-worker looking at wally: i mean, look at this guy's face. he's obviously a grifter. wally: lucky guess. co-worker looking at alice: this one obviously has anger issues. dilbert: i demand a larger sample size! co-worker: whatever geek face.

Elbonian Consultant

Thank you for voting.
Elbonian Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #consultant, #elbonia, #people, #local, #problem, #distribution, #execute, #Opinion, #barber

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i hired an elbonian consultant because we couldn't afford anyone local. dilbert: have you ever consulted in this country? elbonian consultant: no, but people are people, so i assume it isn't that different from elbonia. boss: that's enough chitchat. tell us what we should do about the problems in our distribution system. elbonian system: i recommend executing one of your distributors as a warning to the others. boss: i'm going to need a second opinion. elbonian consultant: my second opinion is that your barber must hate your guts.

Hiring Morons

Thank you for voting.
Hiring Morons - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #business, #technical, #job, #market, #hire, #moron, #critical

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: the job market is so hot right now that we can only afford to hire morons. dilbert: how will we fill our critical technical jobs? boss: i just told you.

No Time Before Next Meeting

Thank you for voting.
No Time Before Next Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2020's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #care, #co-workers, #hate, #job, #lesson, #meeting, #nonesence, #procrastinate, #reality, #report, #stupid, #technical, #technology, #time

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert thinking: that meeting ran long, so now i have ten minutes before the next one. i'm suppose to bring a complete technical report, and i haven't even started it. i hate this stupid job! dilbert still thinking but showing signs of distress: i hate my boss! i hate my stupid co-workers! dilbert yelling: i don't care about anything anymore! dilbert thinking and typing on laptop: i'll just angrily slap together a bunch of nonsense and call it good. grrrrrr!!! in conference room. boss: this is your bet report ever. dilbert yelling: what? dilbert at home with dogbert: today i learned a dangerous lesson about reality.

Extra Dogbert Clone

Thank you for voting.
Extra Dogbert Clone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #marketing, #genius, #problem, #company, #situation, #clone, #blame

View Transcript

Transcript

the marketing genius dogbert: my genius alone will not be enough to fix the problems at this company. this looks like a five-dogbert situation. that is why i arranged to clone myself five times. boss: what's the extra clone for? dogbert: that one takes the blame.

Elbonian Factory Problem

Thank you for voting.
Elbonian Factory Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #report, #factory, #elbonia, #problem, #lost, #power, #main, #floor, #employees, #scared, #trip, #dark, #gas, #line, #accident, #crater, #capital, #explosion, #unsympathetic

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: we have some problems in our elbonian factory. boss: how bad? dilbert: they lost power on the main floor. boss: that's not so bad. dilbert: the employees were scared. boss: they'll get over it. dilbert: one of them tripped in the dark. boss: big deal. dilbert: he accidentally opened a gas line. boss: a little gas never hurt anyone. dilbert: now there's a crater where the capital city used to be. boss and dilbert just looking at each other boss: let's keep an eye on that.

No Interruptions At Home

Thank you for voting.
No Interruptions At Home - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2020's comic on:


Tags #technology, #business, #working, #home, #workday, #productivity, #anger, #annoying, #bowel, #problems

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert sitting on couch with dogbert: i like working from home. i can do eight hours of work in one hour because no one is interrupting me. dogbert yelling: i'm trying to work here! dilbert: did i tell you about my bowel problems? dogbert: go away!