Technology Comic Strips - Page 31
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803 Results for Technology
View 301 - 310 results for technology comic strips. Discover the best "Technology" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday November 16,
2013
Tags deception, ignorance (knowledge), competitors, brain waves, shielded helmet, company secrets, trash can
Transcript
Wally: Our competitors have technology for reading brain waves at a distance. This shielded helmet will prevent them from reading the company secrets in your mind. You owe me $20. Dilbert: The bet was that he has to wear the trash can for a week.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday December 01,
2013
Tags competition (psychology), thinking, ceos technology challenge, innovative ideas, fresh water, elbonia, award winning ideas, water in a box
Transcript
CEO: I'm proud to announce the winner in the CEO's technology challenge. Two weeks ago, I challenged you to come up with innovative ideas for getting fresh water to Elbonia. The winner is someone named Wally. Wally's idea for bringing fresh water to Elbonia is... "in a box." That's the best one? Boss: We only had one entry. CEO: I hate your bald guts. Wally: I get that a lot. If you need me, I'll be in my cubicle thinking up award-winning ideas.
Thursday February 06,
2014
Tags anger, stress, alice, computer, office, always stressed out, employees, introdcutions, glass box, reactions, warning, technology, business
Transcript
Dilbert: This is Alice. You need to know two things about her. When she feels stressed-out she gets angry. Alice: Tell him the second thing! Dilbert: She's always stressed-out.
Sunday February 16,
2014
Tags public speaking, slides tell a story, status of project, clown, broken watch, eagle, technology, old shoe, storm drain, pie chart, dcitionary, images, offcie, cubicle
Transcript
Boss: Experts say your slides should tell a story in pictures. Start with an image that captures the status of your project. Dilbert: How about this image of a clown with a broken watch? Boss: I was thinking eagle. Dilbert: Fine. Eagle. Boss: Now find an image that shows our technology strategy. Dilbert: How about this image of an old show in a storm drain? Boss: I was thinking pie chart. Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Now for the words. Dilbert: How about this image of a dictionary?
Sunday March 16,
2014
Tags internet & world wide web, movies, clever video, create video, internet, go viral, marketing experts, engineer, more passion, loser attitude, viral video, Entertainment, technology, engineering
Transcript
Boss: I want you to create a clever video about our product for the Internet. But make sure it goes viral or you're a total failure. Dilbert: No one can predict what goes viral. Marketing experts fail at this sort of thing 99% of the time. I'm an engineer with no relevant skills for this assignment. Boss: Maybe you could succeed if you had more passion. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I need a rational boss, not passion! Boss: That's sort of a loser attitude. Asok: Hey, my video is going viral!
Sunday April 13,
2014
Tags close friends, facebook, fix problem, friends, liked, posts, seven friends, therapy, shrink, popularity, social media, technology, psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: No one "likes" my Facebook posts. woman: How many Facebook friends do you have? Dilbert: Seven. Woman: Are they close friends? Dilbert: How do you define close? Woman: Have you here invited any of these people to your house? Dilbert: Why would I do that? Woman: I can't fix your problem. SO instead , I'll plant some false memories and try to fox those later. Do you remember being a robot that was designed by alines? Dilbert: No. woman: are you sure? Dilbert: I was.
Wednesday April 30,
2014
Tags public speaking, powerpoint, technology, competition, industry, one slide, presentation, meeting, investors, business
Transcript
Boss: I need you to make a PowerPoint deck for my meeting with investors. I'll be telling them everything I know about technology, competition, and the industry. Dilbert: So... just the one slide? Boss: Huh? Dilbert: How big do these fonts go?
Thursday May 01,
2014
Tags managers & supervisors, investor meeting, emailed, powerpoint slide, dumbed down, technical stuff, non engineers, it be good, no questions, business
Transcript
Dilbert: I emailed you the PowerPoint slide for your investor meeting. I dumbed down the technical stuff for you non-engineers. Boss: "Technology: It Be Good." Dilbert: I wouldn't take questions.
Wednesday May 07,
2014
Tags correct data, incorrect data, interactions with boss, questioning, totally accurate, desk, computer, office, technology
Transcript
Boss: Are you sure the data you gave me is correct? Dilbert: I've been giving you incorrect data for years. This is the first time you've asked. Boss: What? Dilbert: I said the data is totally accurate.
Wednesday June 04,
2014
Tags art education, engineers, inventions, humans do cretaive, robots, technology work, liberal arts majors, origami, game
Transcript
Robot: Someday robots will do all of the technology work and humans will only do creative jobs. If you engineers work hard, someday the spoils will go to the liberal arts majors who partied while you studied. I hear good things about origami. It's not too late to get into that game.

