2008 Comic Strips - Page 31

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags project not sexy, transferring fnding, arouses boss, business school, not covered

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Your project is not sexy." The Boss says, "I'm transferring all of your funding to a project that totally arouses me." The Boss says, "That's something they don't cover in business school."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags need plan, plant plan, employee of the month, cop, wanted list, net, crazy person

View Transcript

Transcript

A man says, "We need a plan for making our plan." The man says, "Then we need to plan the plan's planny plan." A police officer says, "Have you seen this man?" The Boss says, "Sigh. There goes another employee of the month."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags loser, achieves nothing, reality, winner, realistic goals, genous, have a pulse

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "Some people see me as a loser who achieves nothing." Wally says, "In reality I am a winner who knows how to set realistic goals." Dilbert says, "So you're sort of a genius." Wally says, "And yet my only goal was to have a pulse."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags being moved, 50 miles each way, hundred

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Ted, you can keep your job but your office is being moved 50 miles away." Ted says, "Gosh, I guess I could drive another 50 miles each way." The Boss says, "How about a hundred?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags thank ceo, meeting, wearing costumes, unreliable, moved your cheese, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I'd like to thank our CEO for coming to our meeting." Dilbert says, "You said everyone would be wearing costumes today." Wally says, "I'm unreliable." Dilbert says, "I kind of hate you now." Wally says, "Geez, who moved your cheese?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags change is good, most start ups fail, questions at end

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Change is good." Dilbert says, "Then why do most startups fail?" The Boss says, "I only take questions at the end." Someone says, "There's more?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags fish, microwave, stink, offcie, impossible, microwave things that smell bad, job performance, slippery slope, socioathy, liberating feeling, felt bad, extra fish, animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol says, "Where are you going with that fish?" Wally says, "I'm going to microwave it." Carol says, "That will stink up the office and make it impossible for anyone else to enjoy life." Carol says, "Isn't there something else you could eat?" Wally says, "I'm not going to eat it. I just like to microwave things that smell bad." Wally says, "After I stopped caring about my job performance, it was a slippery slope to complete sociopathy." Wally says, "It's a liberating feeling. I can't remember the last time I felt bad." Carol says, "Do you have an extra fish?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags competent, good judge of people, hired, lame resume, not tall, job interview, hired on spot

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Your resume is lame, but you're tall, so you must be competent." The Boss says, "You're hired. Let me show you around." The Boss says, "I'm what you call a good judge of people."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags root cause, projects failure, determinist, origin of universe, cubicle destroyed, free will

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Does anyone know the root cause of our project's failure?" Dilbert says, "I'm a determinist, so I'd have to say the problem goes back to the origin of the universe." The Boss says, "Why are you like this?" Dilbert says, "My cubicle destroyed my illusion of free will."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conference room, where hope goes to die, the rectangle of futility

View Transcript

Transcript

A man says, "I'm here for an interview in a conference room named..." The man says, 'Where Hope Goes to Die'" Carol says, "It's the first one past 'The Rectangle of Futility.'"