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The Boss stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "From now on I'm going to be more proactive." The Boss screams, "You're fired!!" Dilbert's tie and hair fly up in shock. Dilbert turns around and asks, "For what??" The Boss replies, "I don't know yet. That's the problem with being proactive."
The Boss stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "I think we should build an SQL database." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." Dilbert thinks, "Does he understand what he said or is it something he saw in a trade magazine ad?" Dilbert asks, "What color do you want that database?" The Boss answers, "I think mauve has the most RAM."
Dilbert stands behind Wally's desk and says, "I heard you got assigned on a 'dotted line' to our boss's arch-rival." Wally sits with his head in his hands and groans. Dilbert continues, "Look on the bright side. Think of yourself as leading the exiting life of a secret double-agent!" Wally asks, "Don't most double-agents get captured and executed immediately?" Dilbert says, "They WISH it was immediate."
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert asks, "Are you saying that you're an angel now? And you have special powers to help people." Dilbert replies, "Exactly. I instinctively know what people want and I can give it to them with a snap of the paw." Dogbert snaps in the direction of the waitress. Dilbert asks, "Are you having any trouble controlling it?" Dogbert says, "My aim stinks." Behind them, a waiter looks shocked to see that he suddenly has large breasts. The waitress looks angry.
A woman walks by Wally's cubicle and thinks, "I wonder if I'm wearing enough fragrance." Clouds of odor surround her body. Inside his cubicle, Wally whips his head around to look at her. Wally is overcome by the odor and falls over in his chair screaming, "AIEEEEE!!" As she leaves a trail of unconscious employees behind her, the woman thinks, "I'd better increase the dosage until I hear some compliments."
The Boss sits at a computer and Wally and Dilbert stand behind him. The Boss raises his hands over the keyboard and says, "Okay, just show me how to program so I can help out on your project." Dilbert says, "You're going to build a 'G.U.I.' using object-oriented development tools . . ." Wally adds, "G.U.I. is pronounced 'gooey.'" The Boss says, "I used my gun object to blast the bug object in the hall object!!" Wally says, "Notice how gooey it is."
Wally stands behind Dilbert's desk. Dilbert says, "I'm writing an e-mail to protest the new policy of making the employees empty their own trash at night." Dilbert continues, "It's stupid to have highly paid engineers doing unproductive tasks when we could be inventing the future!" Wally asks, "Are you coming to the 'Quality Faire?'" Dilbert answers, "No, this will take another hour."
Dogbert stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "I feel like tweaking some brittle people. Do you known any brittle people?" Dilbert responds, "Try Tina the tech writer. She believes that all forms of expression are an insult to her gender and her profession." Dogbert says to Tina, "The statue of 'Venus de Milo' has no arms." Tina replies angrily, "Oh, I get it. You're saying that women can't lift heavy objects."
Wally sits at his desk and Dilbert stands behind him. The Boss enters and says, "I made a few changes to the design." Dilbert reads a document and looks shocked. He says, "We'll have to work around the clock for months to make these changes!!" The Boss says, "Work smarter, not harder." Wally looks at the changes and says, "You're trying to violate the laws of physics!" The Boss replies, "Rules were made to be broken." Dilbert says, "This design would create enough radiation to instantly kill the user!!" The Boss walks away and says, "Be sure to mention that in the documentation." Dilbert says to Wally, "Let's work smarter not harder." Wally replies, "I think we found the only 'beta' tester we'll need."
Dilbert approaches a window labeled "Soul Check" where a clerk who looks like a demon is standing. He says to the clerk behind the window, "If it's okay, I'll hold onto my soul while I visit the accounting department." Dilbert is in the accounting department, talking to another demonlike clerk seated at a desk. Dilbert says, "I came to answer your questions about my expense report." The clerk replies, "Take a seat." Dilbert notices there are no seats, but only sharp, pointed stalagmites and stalactites in the cavelike room. He thinks to himself, "I don't like the way this is starting."