Hope You Die Comic Strips - Page 31

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413 Results for Hope You Die

View 301 - 310 results for hope you die comic strips. Discover the best "Hope You Die" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 1998's comic on:


Tags #budget, #project, #company startegy, #lose hope

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Dilbert and The Boss sitting at desk across from eachother. Dilbert asks, "How much budget do I have for my project?" The Boss replies, "I can't tell you." The Boss says, "If you knew what your budget was, you'd spend it all." Dilbert inquires," Can you at least tell me what our company strategy is?" The Boss responds, "No, I don't want you to lose hope."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 1998's comic on:


Tags #hideous sycophant, #no hope, #career advancement, #lifestyle choice

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Dilbert and Allen walking down a hall. Dilbert asks, "So, Allen, what's it like to be a hideous sycophant?" Allen replies, "It's okay." Allen asks, "What's it like to have no hope of career advancement?" Dilbert responds, "Not bad." Allen and Dilbert sitting at table with food trays. Allen asks, "Were you born that way or is it a lifestyle choice?" Dilbert responds, "I'll ask my mom, but I think it was bad parenting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 1998's comic on:


Tags #variance im depreciation, #four hour meeting, #stale dount, #nothing to report, #wasted donut, #threw donut, #meeting, #everyone alseep, #business

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A presenter says, ".. Now let's look at our year-to-date variance in depreciation." Alice notices a sleeping co-worker on one side and thinks, "Only five minutes left of our four hour meeting." There is another sleeping co-worker on her other side. Alice thinks, "Uf he keeps droning, there won't be any time for my presentation." Alice thinks, "I spent a whole week preparing my presentation." Alice realizes, "Everyone else is already asleep." Alice plans, "My only hope is to stun the presenter with a stale donut." Presenter points to a chart and says, "As you can see, there's nothing to report." A donut heads for the back of the presenter's head." Alice thinks, "I wasted a donut." Everyone around her is sleeping.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 1998's comic on:


Tags #judged by accomplishments, #not gender, #14th patent, #lunch banquet, #honor alice

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Tina the tech writer says to Alice, "Alice, one day I hope we can be judged by our accomplishments and not our gender." Alice says, "I got my fourteenth patent today. I'm on my way to a lunch banquet in my honor." Tina says, "And you wore THAT?" Alice frowns in anger."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 1998's comic on:


Tags #dogbert curse, #sends chain letter, #die if didnt, #worlds smartest garbageman, #send chain letters

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Dilbert has been struck by the Curse of Dogbert. He has Dogbert's ears and nose. Dilbert says to the garbage man, "...And the Dogbert Curse strikes anyone who sends a chain letter. But the letter said I'd die if I didn't." Dilbert continues, "You're the world's smartest garbage man. How would you handle this?" The garbage man shoves a bag of trash into the garbage truck. Dilbert walks up to Dogbert dressed as a garbage man, but still looking like Dogbert. He says, "Did you know there's also a Garbage Man's Curse for people who send chain letters?" Swami Dogbert wears his turban and wags his tail.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 1998's comic on:


Tags #email chain letter, #will die, #curse of dogbert, #certain death, #curse, #turns into dogs

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Asok is sitting at his computer terminal and thinks, "Oh no! I got an e-mail chain letter. It says I'll die if I don't send it to ten more people." Asok thinks, "But if I forward the message, the Curse of Dogbert will be upon me." Asok looks like Dogbert, as do Alice and Wally (dog ears and dog nose). Asok says, "...So, I figured a curse is better than certain death, right?" Wally says, "Spank you very much." Alice puts her hands on her hips and looks angry.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 1998's comic on:


Tags #info meerical, #invest savings, #sell educational info, #avoid scams, #phase two

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Dilbert sits at his computer, hand on the mouse. Dogbert stands on the desk and says, "I'm going to make an infomercial." Dogbert starts wagging his tail and says, "I'm targeting the people who want to invest their savings, but don't know how." Dilbert says, "I hope you plan to sell educational information about how to avoid scams." Dogbert says, "Good idea for phase two!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 1998's comic on:


Tags #drunk, #out of control, #on a date, #can't get date, #whose idea

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Dilbert, dressed in a coat, is strolling with Dogbert. Dilbert says, "I'll never get drunk. I don't want to be out of control." Dogert asks, "Are you in control at work?" Dilbert answers, "Well.....no." Dogbert asks, "Are you in control when you're on a date?" Dilbert responds, "I can't get a date." Dogbert continues, "And whose idea was it to go on this walk?" Dilbert answers,"Yours." Dilbert lifts Dogbert up on a rock to sit. Dilbert asks, "Are you saying that I should get drunk?" Dogbert answers, "No,no." Dogbert continues, "I'm saying the decision will be made by the beer companies." A seated Dilbert responds, "I hope they say that it's okay."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 1998's comic on:


Tags #nobel prize committee, #theory, #pig layin, #nobel prize commitee, #otonphay, #ratbert

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Dilbert is sitting on the couch. Ratbert says, "I submitted our garbage man's theory to the Nobel prize committee." Ratbert says, "I hope I wrote the theory right. I don't know shorthand so I used pig latin to save time." Nobel Prize Committee: Three guys with hair like Albert Einstein sit looking at papers. One says, "What's an "oton-phay"? A second guy says, "I love what you're doing with your hair."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 1997's comic on:


Tags #presentation, #brilliant, #ineffciency, #procrastination

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Alice says, "We'll probably have to work all night on this presentation, Asok." Asok says, "That's brilliant! You plan to use your inefficiency to make your procrastination look like martyrdom!" Alice says, "Now I have to kill you." Asok says, "Please do. Reincarnation is my only hope."