Keep A Journal Comic Strips - Page 31

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359 Results for Keep A Journal

View 301 - 310 results for keep a journal comic strips. Discover the best "Keep A Journal" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 1994's comic on:


Tags #project leader, #dogcart consulting, #shall do bidding, #endless variety, #expediations, #slab of liver, #external brain pack, #career low

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"I'm the project leader for the Dogbert Consulting Company. You simple employees shall do my bidding." "I'll be sending you on an endless variety of data-gathering expeditions. That will keep you busy while I do the thinking." "By the way, this may look like a slab of liver but it's an external brain pack." "My career just reached an all time low."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 1994's comic on:


Tags #ammunition, #automatic weapons, #bazookas, #citizens, #conversation about guns, #dog, #gun ownership, #no ammunition, #right to own guns, #rocket launchers, #weapons of choice, #charlton heston, #animals

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"What's your position on gun ownership, Dogbert?" "I believe everybody should have the right to own guns." "What about automatic weapons?" "I'm all for them." "Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers, too." "I believe that all citizens should have the weapons of their choice." "However, I also believe that only I should have ammunition." "Because frankly, I wouldn't trust the rest of you Goobers with anything more dangerous than string." "What about Charleton Heston?" "I'd keep the string away from him."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 1994's comic on:


Tags #device, #dogcart scam, #end of world, #evil be gone, #evil money, #give money, #scammer, #take money

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Dogbert: The end of the world is coming in the year 2000. Therefore, you should give me your money before its too late. Dogbert: It is written that money is evil, I'll keep your money in Dogberts special "evil be gone" device. And its completely deductible. ...from your savings. CUSTOMER: So Im actually making money!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 1994's comic on:


Tags #dog collar, #keep track, #employee slaves, #final humiliation, #cubicles, #gerbils, #rationalization, #mechanisms, #collar, #6 foot extension cord, #dog, #adapting, #animals

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The Boss: "Here's your employee locator device." "Sensors in the building will be able to track you at all times." "We'll know how many times you use the restroom and how long." "It's a dog collar...the final humiliation." "Once you got used to working in cubicles like gerbils, we knew anything was possible." "My conformance rationalization mechanisms are kicking in." "It's not so bad. A collar is simply an efficient design. Everyone is doing it." "It's not so bad." "It's powered by this six foot long extension cord."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 1994's comic on:


Tags #opposites attract, #beautiful women, #drawing power, #women love pose, #intellectually staimulating

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Dogbert: "You're unsuccessful in love because you keep forgetting opposites attract." Dogbert: "Logically, the woman who would be most attracted to you are beautiful and intellectually stimulating." Dilbert: "You're right. I've been underestimating my drawing power." Dogbert: "And women love it when you pose like this for them."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 1994's comic on:


Tags #cubicle gestapo, #plastic plant, #rebel, #evil, #anti perspirant, #breaking down, #take a stand

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dilbert: I'm going to defy the cubicle gestapo and keep this plastic plant on my desk. Im a rebel...Im evil. My anti perspirant is breaking down! Dilbert: Sometimes a man has to take a stand. Dogbert: could he stand someplace else?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 1994's comic on:


Tags #bugs, #bugs are smater, #cubcicle, #dumb, #permission denied, #plastic, #plastic plant, #tell the difference

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Dilbert: Id like permission to keep a plastic plant in my crucible, Security guard: Permission denied! Plants attract bugs. If I can't tell its plastic how are the bugs going to know the difference? Dilbert: With all due respect m bugs are way smarter than you. Security: Oh yeah? Id like to see them do this job.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 1993's comic on:


Tags #alice, #the boss, #worklife balance

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Alice says to the Boss, "I can't keep working these long hours . . . I deserve a family life." The Boss says, "Alice, Alice, Alice . . ." The Boss says, "This isn't the 'me' generation of the eighties. This is the 'lifeless nineties.' I expect 178 hours of work from you each week." Alice says, "There are only . . . Uh, 168 hours in a week." The Boss replies, "I expect your family to chip in a few hours."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #ted, #cubicle

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A man says to Dilbert and Wally, "Next week I'll be at my new job, reaping huge rewards." Wally replies, "We're so happy for you." The man says, "But I'll still have a little cubicle like yours." The man continues, "The only difference being that I'll keep a pony there. That way it's close to my office."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #ted, #business project, #business meeting

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Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table with a man from marketing. The man says, "You engineers have done NOTHING on my project. You just keep saying I haven't given you sufficient requirements!" The man throws his arms up in frustration and says, "I don't know what else you need and you won't tell me what you need!! Is this just your way of avoiding work??!" Wally replies, "I'll bet you regret choosing marketing as a career path." Dilbert adds, "It looks like a lot of work."