Managers Comic Strips - Page 31
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596 Results for Managers
View 301 - 310 results for managers comic strips. Discover the best "Managers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday January 19,
2019
Why Didn't You Do It Sooner
Tags criticism, managers & supervisors, motivation, office workers, problem
Transcript
Dilbert: I solved our server reliability problem. Boss: Why didn't you do it sooner? Dilbert: If you see my motivation anywhere, tell it I miss it.
Friday January 18,
2019
Did Not Know About The Server
Tags employees, excuses, irritation, managers & supervisors, office workers
Transcript
Boss: It's been six months now and you still haven't fixed our server issue. Dilbert: I didn't know we had a server issue. Boss: That's no excuse. Dilbert: Actually, it's kind of a good excuse. Boss: Now you're making excuses for your excuses!
Tuesday January 15,
2019
More Accurate Job Description
Tags distraction, frustration, jobs, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm
Transcript
Dilbert: I updated my job description to be more accurate. Boss: "I try to do something and then I get interrupted a jillion times until the thing no longer matters." Sounds like you need some extra micro-managing. Dilbert: I have to take this call.
Sunday January 06,
2019
Tags argument, boss, complaining, eating, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, sounds
Transcript
Boss: I need to talk to you about your apple-eating. Dilbert: My what? Boss: Every afternoon you eat an apple at your desk. Your co-workers are complaining because it's loud. They can't work with all of your crispy chewing noise. Dilbert: In my defense, my co-workers are so incompetent that the less work they do, the better off the company is. Boss: That is a surprisingly robust defense. I'll come back if I can think of a counter-argument. Dilbert: Good luck. Crunch.
Saturday January 05,
2019
Twizzle The Flurm
Tags confused, employees, engineering, managers & supervisors, office workers
Transcript
Boss: The engineers think I don't understand what they do all day. Catbert: Maybe it's because you don't. Boss: You too? Wally: My project is late because I had to twizzle the flurm. Boss: Okay, that sounds right.
Friday January 04,
2019
No Raise For Dilbert
Tags boss, employees, employment, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm, work, salary
Transcript
Dilbert: Can I have a 25% raise to get my compensation up to market levels? Boss: No. Dilbert: Okay. I'll just work 25% less because you won't know the difference. Boss: I would know if you did that. Dilbert: Should I get back to separating the zeroes from the ones in our database?
Thursday January 03,
2019
Firing Ted
Tags boss, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, panic, suspicious
Transcript
Boss: Ted, come to my office at five o'clock. Ted: Gaaa!!! That's what you say when you plan to fire people! Boss: Don't be ridiculous. Also, bring your keys.
Wednesday January 02,
2019
Boxes With Names
Tags business, employees, managers & supervisors, meetings, office workers, suspicious, layoff
Transcript
Boss: The rumors of a major layoff are completely untrue. Dilbert: Why did the facilities management people just deliver a huge load of cardboard boxes to the break room? Boss: You can never have too many boxes. Dilbert: Why does every box have an employee name on it?
Wednesday December 26,
2018
Boss Has A Vision For The Company
Tags managers & supervisors, obliviousness, office workers, sarcasm, listen
Transcript
Boss: And that's my vision for the company. Dilbert: All you did was list the projects we are already working on while making it sound like astrology. Boss: In my defense, I didn't think any of you were listening.
Tuesday December 25,
2018
Illegal Plan
Tags business ethics, legal, managers & supervisors, office workers, suspicious
Transcript
Dilbert: Your plan doesn't sound legal.I'm not comfortable with it. Boss: We break the law all the time. It hasn't been a problem yet. Do you feel better now? Dilbert: What's your position on killing all witnesses?


