Work Ethic Comic Strips - Page 31
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1000 Results for Work Ethic
View 301 - 310 results for work ethic comic strips. Discover the best "Work Ethic" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday December 20,
2016
Forgot To Go To Pre Meeting Corrected
Tags deception, lying, deadline, boss, executive
Transcript
CEO: Is the software finished as your boss promised me it would be? Dilbert: I forgot to go to the pre-meeting for this meeting, so I'll guess the answer is.. yes? CEO: Okay, keep up the good work! Dilbert: Thanks goodness he doesn't know what the truth even looks like.
Sunday December 11,
2016
Tags health, morning, waking up, sleepless, complaining, manager, sociopath, emotions
Transcript
Boss: Can you take a call with our Elbonian customers at 6 a.m. tomorrow? Dilbert: Sure. All I need to do is put my health at risk by not getting enough sleep tonight. Of course, I'll hate your guts for making me come to work so early. And I would expect my bad attitude to infect my co-workers and make them less productive, too. My lack of sleep will affect my decision-making, obviously. And I"m working on important projects, so the ripple effect could be catastrophic. So, do you still want me to be here at 6 a.m. tomorrow? Boss: Yes. You don't have to be a sociopath to be a manager, but it helps.
Sunday December 04,
2016
Tags scam, language, accent, communication
Transcript
Dogbert: I'm starting a foreign accent schools for the lazy. People assume you're smarter when you know more than one language. But learning a new language takes too much work. So I'll teach you how to speak your own language with a foreign accent. People will assume you are bilingual at the very least. And when you use bad grammar with a foreign accent it makes you look adorable. You'll never need to do another courtesy laugh, either. People will just assume you didn't get the joke. Dilbert: This is one of your better ideas. Dogbert: You should hear it with an accent!
Friday December 02,
2016
Brain Fragments
Tags bored, boredom, health, mundane
Transcript
Dilbert: I need to take an extended medical leave to recover from a boredom-related injury at work. You gave ma a task so boring that my brain tried to escape through my lower gastrointestinal tract. Boss: I'm sure it wasn't that bad. Dilbert: I found brain fragments in my pants.
Sunday November 27,
2016
Tags logic, reasoning, laziness, work ethic, excuse, chaos theory
Transcript
Woman: When will you finish the technical review? Wally: That will depend on a variety of unknowns. A lot can happen between now and whenever you imagine I might be done with it. No one knows the future. I'd be a liar if I said I did, and you don't want a co-worker who is a liar, do you? Or do you? Woman: Lying would be better than whatever this is. Wally: In that case, I'll have it tomorrow.
Thursday November 24,
2016
Food Poisoning On Trip
Friday November 18,
2016
Wally Comes In Early
Thursday November 17,
2016
Followship Training
Tags leadership, following, lazy, work ethic, motivation
Transcript
Boss: I'm too busy to take a leaders hip class, so I'm sending all of you to a followship class. Dilbert: Is that so we can learn how to follow someone who never learned to lead? Boss: That sounds like a good question for your followship teacher.
Monday November 14,
2016
Wally's Work Life Balance
Tags laziness, work ethic, excuse
Transcript
Wally: I can't do your urgent task because I'm on deadline for my boss. I can't meet your deadline because I have an urgent task from a co-worker. I finally figured out the whole "work-life balance" thing.
Sunday November 13,
2016
Tags app, developer, workload, ideas, obliviousness, unrealistic, goals
Transcript
Tina: I have a great idea for an app. And I choose you to be on my start-up team. I'll be the idea person and you do all of the technology. Dilbert: So... I would be doing 100 percent of the work? Tina: I already did the hard part of coming up with an idea. Your part is just typing. So stop complaining and type me an app. Dilbert: It isn't that easy. Tina: Can you recommend someone less lazy?


