Budget Is Shot Comic Strips - Page 31
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319 Results for Budget Is Shot
View 301 - 310 results for budget is shot comic strips. Discover the best "Budget Is Shot" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday July 20,
2016
Dilbert Fits It All In One Slide
Tags irrational, demands, managers, powerpoint, nonsense
Transcript
Dilbert: It took me a hours to figure out how to fit everything you wanted into one slide. Boss: That's great. Now add in some stuff about the budget, our risks, and all of our competition. And keep it all on one slide. Dilbert: Have you ever listened to the noise coming from your mouth?
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday September 08,
2016
Get Multiple Approvals
Tags managers, problems, work, frustration
Transcript
Boss: You need to get your capital budget approved by all of the department heads. We're in the middle of a reorg, so get approval from both the outgoing and the incoming managers. Dilbert: Someday I hope to solve a problem that is not caused by leadership. Boss: You'll never get that far.
Saturday September 10,
2016
Accused Of Forgery
Tags motivation, performance, forgery, pessimism, giving up, resistance
Transcript
Catbert: You stand accused of forging an expense approval from the head of Marketing. Your malfeasance caused the project to finish on time and under budget. Next time, just give up and lose hope like everyone else. Dilbert: Will do.
Saturday December 10,
2016
Cartoonist As Spokesperson
Tags spokesperson, embarrassment, celebrity, promoter, product
Transcript
Boss: We're looking for a celebrity spokesperson, but we don't have much budget for it. All we can afford is a cartoonist. Can you do the job for $75? Scott Adams: Deal! Boss: Have you ever done anything on social media that would embarrass us? Scott Adams: I thought that's what it's for.
Sunday January 15,
2017
Tags job, scope, negotiating, engineer, demands, failure, stress, business, engineering
Transcript
Boss: We need to cut our budget. Go to all of our vendors and tell them to reduce their prices. Dilbert: Why would they do that for us? Boss: Tell them we'll buy from someone else unless they do. Dilbert: That's what we told them to get the prices we have now. I'm an engineer, not a professional negotiator. Your plan has failure designed into it. Your poor leadership already has me on the edge of madness. This could push me over the edge. Boss: And I need it done by Tuesday.
Sunday February 05,
2017
Tags sarcasm, obliviousness, future, psychic
Transcript
Boss: Do these cost estimates include everything? Dilbert: Yes, because I know what happens in the future. I didn't think I could accurately predict the future until you trusted me to put this budget together. I thought there were too many variables to know how things will turn out. But I defer to your superior opinion. Wait... I'm getting another message from the future. It says to raise the software budget by nine dollars. Boss: Okay, that sounds right. Dilbert: Of course it does. Trust your instincts.
Tuesday June 06,
2017
Be Creative With Funding
Wednesday June 07,
2017
Ted Complains About Dilbert
Tags budget, money, funding, creativity, embezzlement, fraud
Transcript
Boss: Ted is complaining that you charged your expenses to his project. Dilbert: You told me to be creative because you forgot to fund my project. Boss: I wasn't expecting you to do that. Dilbert: That's what makes it creative. I looked it up.
Friday June 09,
2017
Scavenging For Parts
Tags friendship, strategy, parts, scavenging, money, usury, budget, relationships
Transcript
Dilbert: My boss forgot to fund my project so I've been scavenging for parts. Robot: You usually don't make conversation with me. I guess this means we're friends now. People.
Tuesday July 11,
2017
Unethical Assumptions
Tags money, ethics, misleading, finances, budget
Transcript
Boss: Your financial projection doesn't support my preferred strategy. Maybe you could tweak the discount rate to 40%. Dilbert: You're asking me to be unethical. Boss: Only with your assumptions.