Ceo Comic Strips - Page 31
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627 Results for Ceo
View 301 - 310 results for ceo comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday April 08,
2014
Tags injured ceo, rolex watches, steamer trunk, freak accident, helicopter, yacht, company ceo, time flys, having funds, intern, comments, company, employees, office gossip, business
Transcript
Boss: Our CEO was injured when a steamer trunk full of Rolex watches fell out of his luggage helicopter and landed on his yacht. Asok: They say time flies then you're having funds. Alice; Out intern is growing up so fast. Asok: The walk-off is what sells it!
Wednesday April 09,
2014
Tags acting ceo, rolex accident, power crazed, obliterated human decency, abuse of power, furry friend
Transcript
Catbert: The board wants you to be our acting CEO until our regular CEO recovers from his Rolex accident. Boss: Buwhahaha!!! The power has gone to my head and obliterated my last crumb of human decency! Catbert: You're creeping me out. Boss: I'm going to buff my shoes with you, my furry friend.
Thursday April 10,
2014
Tags managers & supervisors, temporary ceo, c level suite, employee realtions, boss, cubicle, insulting, receptionist, business
Transcript
Boss: The board named me temporary CEO. And guess who is coming with me to the C-level suite! Carol: It's me! Boss: No. And you're also a terrible guesser.
Friday April 11,
2014
Tags executives, acting ceo, back slapping, firing people, slaps off roof, abuse of power, sacrifice
Transcript
Acting CEO Boss: No one told me what I'm supposed to do in this job. Catbert: 80% of the job is back-slapping and firing people. Boss: Good job, Ted. But not good enough.
Friday May 09,
2014
Tags studies, healthy exercise, healthier lifestyle, poor health, ruin meeting, attend stupid meetings
Transcript
CEO: Studies show that people who exercise are healthier. Wally: That's because people who are in poor health don't exercise. CEO: Why does it seem as if you ruin every meeting? Wally: Is it because I only attend the ones that are stupid?
Friday May 23,
2014
Tags gadgets, wearable tech prodcuts, looking cool, feeling cool, hit clubs, early adopter problem
Transcript
Boss: We're having an early adopter problem with our wearable tech products. CEO: No one wants to go first? Boss: I wish we had that problem. Dilbert: I wonder if we look as cool as we feel. Wally: Let's hit the clubs and find out.
Sunday July 20,
2014
Tags new idea, dream, 3d glasses, for real life, people love 3d, not movies, obvious, ideas
Transcript
CEO: Last night, an idea for a new product came to me in a dream. Dilbert: ICK CEO: 3-D Glasses. Dilbert: To watch movies? CEO: No, real life. Dilbert: So...The glasses would make life in general appear three-dimensional? CEO: Exactly! People Love 3-D Stuff. Dilbert: Im not going to respond to your idea. Im just going to sit here looking three-dimensional. CEO: wait....how are you doing that? Dilbert: Im wearing glasses that make me look 3-D
Monday July 07,
2014
Tags computers & peripherals, frustration, inventions, no sense, standard turing test, upset, company strategy
Transcript
Dilbert: My software can't pass a standard Turing test yet, but it does pass the pointy-haired boss test. Computer, I have a question about our company strategy. Computer: Try working smarter. Dilbert: That doesn't even make sense! CEO: I wasn't prepared to like it, but you won me over.
Tuesday July 15,
2014
Tags business ethics, takes picture, flash spot, vision, place ads, little spot, huge personal violation, your privacy
Transcript
CEO: When someone takes your picture, the flash spot stays in your vision for a few seconds. I want you to figure out how to place ads on that little spot. Dilbert: That would be a huge personal violation. CEO: Bah! You said the same thing when we took your privacy.
Monday July 21,
2014
Tags obliviousness, thinking, decisions, unsupported belife, paraphrase incorrectly
Transcript
CEO: Spare me the tedious technical details. I make my decisions based on the people involved. Dilbert: So you replaced your unsupported belief that you could spot winning projects with an unsupported belief that you can identify winning people? CEO: Stop making it sound dumb! Dilbert: Should I try paraphrasing it incorrectly?

