Computer Programmers Comic Strips - Page 31
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646 Results for Computer Programmers
View 301 - 310 results for computer programmers comic strips. Discover the best "Computer Programmers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday August 26,
1997
Tags work during vacation, supposed to work, concept, empathy
Transcript
Wally says to Alice, who is dressed casually and sitting at her computer, "It's a shame you have to work during your vacation. The same thing happened to me." Alice says, "Really?" Wally explains, "Actually, in my case I went on vacation when I was supposed to be working. But the concept is the same." Wally walks up to Dilbert, his clothing ripped and dishevled and a cup stuck on his face. "Apparently she wasn't looking for empathy," Wally says.
Wednesday August 27,
1997
Tags work ethic, alice, working during vacation, remain motivated, glass ceiling, never break
Transcript
Asok the intern stands behind Alice, who is dressed casually and sits at her computer. Asok says, "I admire your work ethic, Alice. You're even working during your vacation." Alice grimaces and grits her teeth. Asok continues, "It must be hard to remian motivated when you know you can never break though the glass ceiling." Alice grimaces some more. Asok's body dangles from the ceiling through a mass of tiles and wiring. Alice looks up at him and says,"So, it looks like it's just tile after all."
Thursday August 28,
1997
Tags old job, network systems, asminstrator, reckless abuse, power, new ethernet card, solve problem, big pile, office
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the couch. Dilbert eats potato chips. Dogbert announces, "I'm going back to my old job as a network systems administrator." Dilbert asks, "Why?" Dilbert offers Dogbert some chips as Dogbert says, "I'm attracted by the potential for reckless abuse of power." Asok the Intern sits at his computer and looks at Dogbert who is waving an ethernet card at him. Dogbert says, "This new ethernet card could solve your problems. Would you like a sniff before I throw it in a big pile in my office?"
Saturday August 30,
1997
Tags dogebert, systems adminitrator, evil system, private, compiled binder, off color humor, unkind references, naughty propositions, heading, sing
Transcript
Wally sits at his computer. Dogbert says, "Wally, did you know your e-mail system isn't private?" Dogbert continues while Wally looks worried. "I've compiled a binder with all your off-color humor, unkind references to co-workers, naughty propositions, and admissions to theft." Wally asks, "Where is this heading?" Dogbert replies, "I'd like you to sing that question while hopping on one foot."
Monday September 01,
1997
Tags ignorant employees, controls information, board of directors, appointed emperor, escape key
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his computer. A voice comes from the video conferencing camera on top of the monitor. "This is Dogbert the Network Systems Administrator, to all ignorant employees." Dogbert stands in front of a computer terminal. He says, "He who controls your information, controls you. I control your information." The Boss sits at his computer. Dogbert voice says, "The board of directors has appointed me Emperor for Life. Bring the pointy-haried boss to me." The Boss furiously presses a key on his keyboard and thinks, "Uh-oh! The 'escape' key isn't working!"
Monday September 08,
1997
Tags ballon with sand, breaks, little ballon, requests new keyboard, sand in keyboard, stressful day, reduce stress
Transcript
Dilbert squeezes a "stress ball" while he sits at his computer. He thinks, "It's been a stressful day. Luckily I have this little balloon full of sand to squeeze and reduce my stress." Dilbert squeezes the balloon so hard it goes "poof" and sand falls into his keyboard. Dilbert thinks, "Oops." The Boss holds a paper, an equipment request, and says to Dilbert, "You need a new kybard? What's a kybard?" Dilbert is extremely angry and screams, "Just sign the stupid thing!"
Wednesday September 10,
1997
Tags control, during takeouff, laptop computer, plane control, takeoff, plane descent, excel, pilot communication
Transcript
Carol, the Boss's secretary, sits in her cubicle. She says to the Boss, "Have a nice flight. Remember to turn on your laptop during takeoff." The Boss says, "I thought they tell you to turn it OFF." Carol responds, "Off?!! How would they transfer control to you if they had trouble?" A jet falls straight down towards the ground. The pilot screams, "Turn off that !*#$ laptop!" The Boss says, "No way! I have to land this baby!... Can I do that in 'Excel'?"
Friday September 12,
1997
Tags presumed dead, like to work, finished three projects, lost five pounds, gave up coffee, seven patents, everyone prodcutive, life without mangement, paradise, spoon hug
Transcript
Wally and Dilbert are wearing casual clothes. Dilbert is dancing and Wally sits at his computer. Wally says, "Now that our Boss is presumed dead, I found I like to work." Dilbert says, "I finished three projects today!" Alice leans into the cubicle and says, "I lost five pounds, gave up coffee, and applied for seven patents!" Dilbert says, "Go, Alice!" Wally says, "Life without management is like paradise!" Tina the Tech Writer walks in and says, "Who wants to spoon-hug?"
Tuesday September 16,
1997
Tags information technology dept, jordan the preventer, request for service, resource shortages, reverse psychology
Transcript
Alice sits at her computer, behind her is Mordac. He says, "I am Mordac the Preventer, your liason from the information technology department." Mordac says, "I come with tales of resource shortages. Your request for our services has been denied." Alice stands up and is much taller than Mordac. She says, "I didn't request any of your services." Mordac replies, "Don't try your reverse psychology on me."
Wednesday September 17,
1997
Tags reverse psychology, goal, opposite of wants, space shuttle launch, alice desk
Transcript
Alice is angry and walks away from Mordac. She says, "I'm not using reverse psychology! I really don't need anything from the information technology department." Mordac follows. Mordac shakes his fist and says, "Curse you! You know our goal is to give you the opposite of what you want. If you want nothing, we must give you everything!" Dilbert stands behind Alice at her computer. He clasps his hands together and begs, "Please tell me how you got them to do this." Alice's computer is heaped with gadgets: satelitte dish, hard drives, video cameroas, modems, etc. Alice says, 'Watch me launch the space shuttle!"


