Free T Shirts Comic Strips - Page 31

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

314 Results for Free T Shirts

View 301 - 310 results for free t shirts comic strips. Discover the best "Free T Shirts" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, leadership, power, influence

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why isn't your project done? Dilbert: I can't make the people on my team do any work because I'm not their boss. Boss: Sure you can. It's called leadership. I do it all the time. Dilbert: All you do is threaten to fire people. I can't do that because I"m not their boss. Boss: That's why you have to use your soft leadership skills A good leader can get people to do anything. Dilbert: Then why couldn't you get me to finish my project on time? And why do you pay me? You could just lead me to work for free. Boss: Shut up or I'll fire you.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Boss Finds A Thumb Drive

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Finds A Thumb Drive - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computers, infection, malware, obliviousness, virus, hacker, hacking

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I found a thumb drive on the sidewalk. It must be my lucky day. It's like free money! Dilbert: Can free money infect our network, too? Boss: You worry too much. Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be selling all of my company stock.

Unforseen Problems

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Unforseen Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags building apps, completion date, problems, unforseen

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: It will take four weeks to build the app, unless there are unforeseen problems. how often do we have unforeseen problems? Dilbert: One hundred percent of the time. Then whats the point of estimating a completion date? Dilbert: I was hoping to make you stop talking but t dint work.

Might Reorganize

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Might Reorganize - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags responsibility, work ethic, reorganization, merger, laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Are you still considering a reorganization of the department? Boss: Maybe. Wally: Oh, good. I was worried I might be held accountable for my lack of accomplishments. Boss: I might be playing this wrong. Wally: Hey, everyone! We're free!

Grant Application

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Grant Application - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags job, job description, responsibility, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to write a government grant application for my wife's new business. Dilbert: That's not my job, and I don't know how to do it. Boss: Maybe you could learn it in your free time. Dilbert: I can see why your wife wants her own income.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, employee, calendar, week, awkward, problem, schedule, relative, lunch, sandwich

View Transcript

Transcript

Male Employee: Do you have an hour to meet next week? Dilbert: Let me check my calendar. Next week is not good. Male Employee: You don't have one hour of free time all week? Dilbert: Well, this is awkward. The problem isn't my schedule so much as your total lack of value relative to my alternatives. Male Employee: Maybe we could meet over lunch? Dilbert: I like to focus on my sandwich.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags avoidance, irritation, lunch, office workers, relationships, coworkers

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: You should meet the new guy in marketing. You two would get along great. I'll set up a lunch. Dilbert: Why? Tina: Because he reminds me of you. Dilbert:That isn't a reason. Tina: Okay, he is free tomorrow for lunch. I'll tell him to meet you in the lobby. Dilbert: I still don't see why the three of us need to go to lunch. Tina: It's just the two of you. I'm busy tomorrow. Man: I hear you're a lot like me. Dilbert: Sadly, yes.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer software, computers, intelligence, technology, trick, humans

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I created a simulated world made entirely of software. I programmed all of the people in the simulation to think they are real people with free will. Dogbert: Are they sentient beings? Dilbert: They think they are. Dogbert: What if they discover their true nature? Dilbert: I programmed limits into their physics so they can never observe the walls of their reality. For example, they can't get to the edge of their universe because they can't exceed the speed of light. And they can't find out what they are made of because, to them, it looks like probability at the quantum level. Dogbert: Wouldn't those limits tip of the smart ones? Dilbert: I coded them to not trust smart people.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bugs, business, fire, office, office workers, quit, system

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo: ned won 't return any of my messages. ceo: fire him the boss: i can't do that. the boss holding hands out: ned is indispensable. ceo: what makes him indispensable? the boss: he's the only one who knows how to fix bugs in our system. ceo: what system? the boss: i don't know. ceo: then how do you know he's indispensable? the boss: ned told me. ceo: fire him anyway. dilbert: ned quit two years ago.

Ted And The Tangle Of Cords

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted And The Tangle Of Cords - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, coffee, desk, office, office workers, cables, stapler

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss, dibert and wally standing with coffee. the boss: has anyone seen ted lately? wally: last time i saw him he was trapped in a tangle of cables behind his desk, screaming for help. the boss: then you helped him get free? wally: i only needed his stapler.