Full Body Comic Strips - Page 31
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379 Results for Full Body
View 301 - 310 results for full body comic strips. Discover the best "Full Body" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday September 10,
2010
Tags #cleaning, #janitor, #crime scene, #overalls, #shut down, #assistant, #ratbert, #human body parts, #recycling bins, #frankenstein
Transcript
The Boss says, "We need to shut down our crime scene cleaning division." The Boss says, "Apparently your assistant, Ratbert, has been putting human remains in the recycling bins." Dilbert says, "That's a harmless mistake. What's the worst thing that could happen?"
Thursday October 07,
2010
Tags #meeting, #boss, #employee, #stupid question, #inspire, #angry, #dead body, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "Carol, how can I make you feel more inspired by your work?" Carol says, "I'm an admin, you steaming log. The only thing that would inspire me is finding your corpse floating in my worst enemy's drinking water." The Boss says, "It's just something they make me ask." Carol says, "Can I get back to my meaningless work now?"
Saturday October 09,
2010
Tags #rival, #drain hope, #optimism, #yell, #freak out, #scary, #mouth open, #meeting, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "You mission is to assassinate the motivation of my rival." The Boss says, "I want you to attend a meeting with him and drain the optimism out of his body." Man says, "What is happening to my sense of hope?" Wally says, "Let it happen."
Monday January 05,
2009
Tags #temperature, #office, #rudeness, #anger, #frustration
Transcript
Carol says, "This office is freezing. Why aren't you cold?" Dilbert says, "My brain is much larger than yours. It heats my entire body when I think." Dilbert says, "But whatever you're doing now seems to be working too." Carol thinks, "#!*$0!%"
Thursday January 22,
2009
Tags #firings, #layoffs, #company, #business
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I don't care that you fired me for using work time to start my own internet business." Dilbert says, "My new company will be a huge success!" The Boss says, "yes, and we own it because you created it during work." Dilbert says, "Then I barfed in my box full of junk." Dogbert says, "You may have lost that round."
Thursday February 05,
2009
Tags #sales, #economy, #ridiculous, #business
Transcript
Dilbert in sales Salesman says, "We had to be more creative because of the soft economy." Salesman says, "now we kill our customers and replace them with body doubles who place big orders." Customer says, "Who's the handsome new sales guy?" Salesman says, "He's you in about ten minutes."
Thursday May 07,
2009
Tags #bragging, #saving, #money, #talking, #ridiculous
Transcript
Topper Dilbert says, "I'm painting my own house to save money." Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "I had spider glands trasplanted into my body so I can make my own silk garments." Dilbert says, "That doesn't seem?" Topper says, "Who wants mittens?!"
Wednesday May 27,
2009
Tags #story, #topping, #bragging, #ridiculous, #lying, #annoyed
Transcript
Topper Alice says, "I went for a long walk yesterday." Topper says, "That's nothing." Topper says, "My thighs are so strong that I'm afraid to jump rope when the sun is directly overhead." Alice says, "You're full of beans." Man says, "Exactly. That's how I achieve escape velocity."
Tuesday August 11,
2009
Tags #talking, #ridicule, #criticism, #depressed, #sad, #mean
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I see my job as giving you the information you need to make the right decision." Carol says, "I see your job as e-mailing me links to web sites full of stale and incomplete information." Dilbert says, "Can we go back to pretending I'm useful?" Carol says, "Sure. I'll give you a pity listen."
Sunday March 15,
2009
Tags #problem, #ignorance, #hiding, #budget
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Customers can't figure out our user interface. the boss says, "They should read the manual." Dilbert says, "Our manual is more confusing than our user interface." The boss says, "They can use our onine support database." Dilbert says, "That's more confusing than our manual." The boss says, "We have no money to fix any of that." The boss says, "In situations like this, I like to go to my special place" The boss says, "Someday I hope to have a special place big enough for my entire body." the boss says, "Problem solved."