Monthly Plan Comic Strips - Page 31

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

522 Results for Monthly Plan

View 301 - 310 results for monthly plan comic strips. Discover the best "Monthly Plan" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hire emplyees, #qaulified, #hore dumb people, #motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert stands on The Boss' desk and says, "We can't afford to hire qualified employees." Catbert continues, "My plan is to hire dumb people and be angry at them." Catbert replies, "I forget - what's the word for pretending that people can change their basic nature?" The Boss replies, "Motivation?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gambling casino, #bad luck, #casino, #extraordinary bad luck

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting on his couch, reading a book. Dogbert stands on the armrest and says, "I plan to open a gambling casino for people who have extraordinarily bad luck." Dilbert asks, "How can you tell who has extraordinarily bad luck?" Dogbert replies, "They would be the ones that go to my casino."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #grow revenue, #new products, #calling in strategy, #eliminate waste, #miss you

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "Our strategy is to grow revenue from new products." Dilbert turns to The Boss and asks, "How obvious does an idea need to be before we'll stop calling it a strategy?" The Boss says, "And we plan to eliminate waste." Dilbert responds, "We'll miss you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ring thingy, #grew up and moved away, #worked well, #children grew, #while working

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is sitting at his desk. The phone rings. The Boss thinks, "Ringy thingy." The Boss picks up the phone. The voice at the other end says, "While you were working, your children grew up and moved away." After the phone call, The Boss sits and thinks, "I've never had a plan that worked so well."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #created time line, #identified resources, #revise timeline, #re examine, #thousand ways, #haven't done anything

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "In only one week my project team has created a time line and identified the resources we need." "Next week, we plan to revise the time line and re-examine our resource needs." "Good work." "There must be a thousand ways to say I haven't done anything." "Wait.."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #profitability, #year 3, #key revenue, #comet strike oil, #crashes through wall, #abstractions, #presentation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "As requested, I wrote the business plan to show profitability by year three." Dilbert: "The key revenue assumption is that an armored car crashes through that wall and spills its contents." "And don't stand where the comet is assumed to strike oil."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hate people, #never allowed shoes, #Dogbert, #hows my walking, #dial, #1800

View Transcript

Transcript

"I plan to make bumper stickers for pedestrians that say, 'How am I walking? Call 1-800 blah, blah, blah.'" "If you call the number and report people, they'll never again be allowed to purchase shoes!" "The best part about hating people is that I never run out of great ideas."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new wireless hassock prodcut, #sales people, #work in teams, #wear e;ectroshock, #close the deal

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "We haven't sold a single unit of our new wireless hassock product." "Our plan is to make the sales people work in teams and take turns wearing electroshock pants." "Now close the deal, Cliffy, or it's payback time." "BUY IT!!! BUY IT!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #televison show, #doctor dogbert, #lazy, #immoral, #fat morons

View Transcript

Transcript

"I plan to start my own television talk show." "I'll change my name to 'Doctor Dogbert' so people think I'm qualified to call them lazy, immoral fat morons." "You already call people those names." "Yeah, but I want them to thank me for it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no frills airline, #$23 run to destinations, #crazy stuff, #saliva

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "I plan to start my own no-frill airline." "For only $23, I'll let people hold out their arms and run to their destinations." "And they won't be allowed to eat or swallow their own saliva."