Tina: How reliable are your ten-year financial projections?
Dilbert: They are as reliable as all other ten-year financial predictions.
Tina: Okay, good.
Dilbert: Why do I feel guilty every time I talk at work?
the boss: i'm looking for nominations for employee of the year.
the boss: does anyone have a suggestion?
dilbert: hypothetically, would the winner of this award be likely to get a larger-than-normal pay raise?
the boss: i would think so, yes.
dilbert: and is it true that our budget for raises is limited?
the boss: yes, of course.
dilbert: would it not be against my best interests to nominate an employee who is competing with me for scarce resources?
the boss: let's just forget i brought it up.
dilbert: i nominate myself.