Real Problems Comic Strips - Page 31

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363 Results for Real Problems

View 301 - 310 results for real problems comic strips. Discover the best "Real Problems" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally's Hobby Is Economic Babble Talk

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Wally's Hobby Is Economic Babble Talk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 2015's comic on:


Tags #jargon, #babble, #economics, #obliviousness, #economist, #economy, #hiring

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Wally: My new hobby is explaining economics using babble talk. It sounds totally real. For example, did you know that the bubble in commodities is creating an oversupply of interest rates? Meanwhile... Boss: Our Chief Economist quit. CEO: Promote that bald guy. He sounds smart.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 10, 2015's comic on:


Tags #social media, #facebook, #twitter, #pinterest, #instagram, #obliviousness, #technology, #communication

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Boss: Do you have a minute to answer a quick question about social media? Dilbert: I don't have time... Boss: Real quick. One question. Dilbert: Okay, but make it fast, please. I'm late for my meeting. Boss: Okay, the question is this... Can I Instagram a tweet right to Facebook... or does liking something I also favorited automatically pin it to my followers? Dilbert: I'm going to say yes and go to my meeting. Boss: I probably should have asked some follow-ups.

List Of Known Problems

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List Of Known Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2015's comic on:


Tags #joke, #insult, #misanthrope, #misanthropy

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Alice: Did you get the link I sent you for our company directory? Boss: I didn't ask for that. I asked for a list of known problem... Oh. Not funny. Alice: Then how do you explain this?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2015's comic on:


Tags #wifi, #wi-fi, #internet, #coffee shop, #public, #privacy, #security, #technology, #cyber security, #password, #identity, #identity theft, #passwords

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Dilbert: Yay, you have wi-fi! Now I can drink overpriced coffee while strangers steal my passwords. The timing is sort of a coincidence. Because I was just wondering what would be the fastest way to lose everything I own. And this fixes one of my other big problems too... I always want to share my browser history with strangers, and now I can! By the way, I'm Dilbert. Elbonian: I was Gropnorb, but now I go by Fred. Dilbert: Did a guy named Fred use your wi-fi? Elbonian: Right after he under-tipped.

Solving Problems In Interviews

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Solving Problems In Interviews - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 2015's comic on:


Tags #interview, #trick, #thinking, #problem

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Job Interview. Boss: Tell me your process for solving this sort of problem. Man: I would ignore it for a week and likely discover that it wasn't important in the first place. If it still matters after a week, I would hold fake job interviews and ask people how to solve it. Boss: Apparently, that doesn't work.

Motivation Is Magical Thinking

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Motivation Is Magical Thinking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 2015's comic on:


Tags #motivation, #magic, #inspiration, #futility, #futile, #honesty, #hard truth

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Dogbert: Motivation is a form of magical thinking in which you imagine that your words can turn useless people into high achievers. Boss: But it totally works, right? Dogbert: Yes, because magic is real. Boss: Is it hard to learn? Dogbert: Not if you already know how to lie.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 2015's comic on:


Tags #manager, #inspiration, #entrepreneur, #risk, #irony, #catch-22, #creativity, #creative, #motivation

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Boss: I want you to think like entrepreneurs. Dilbert: Should we take huge risks? Boss: No, the stockholders would hate that. Alice: Should we act as though we have no boss? Boss: NO. That would be chaos. Dilbert: Will we become billionaires if we succeed? Boss: Raises are capped at 3% this year. I'm just saying you should be more creative. Dilbert: and then we should act? Boss: No, that's when the problems happen.

Ted Has A Bad Feeling

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Ted Has A Bad Feeling - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 2015's comic on:


Tags #fired, #firing, #prognostication, #predict, #psychic, #complaining, #complaint, #prophecy

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Ted: I have a bad feeling about the direction of my project. Boss: You complain too much. You're fired. Dilbert: So... now you believe you can predict the future. Ted: Magic is real.

Asok Asks How Much Is Luck

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Asok Asks How Much Is Luck - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 2015's comic on:


Tags #nepotism, #luck, #success, #obliviousness, #rich people, #privilege

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Asok: May I ask some questions about your journey to success? Boss: I don't like the sound of this. Asok: I am trying to ascertain what percentage of a person's success is pure luck. For example, who hired you for your first real job? Boss: My dad. But in my defense, I interview well.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2015's comic on:


Tags #management, #strategy, #productivity, #humane, #inhumane, #treatment, #surveillance, #watching, #privacy, #work, #office workers

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Boss: We are going to start monitoring employee productivity in real time. Any questions? Dilbert: I need one clarification. Are you saying you removed the last shred of human dignity from our jobs and reduced us to nothing but a meat machine that suffers in a state of perpetual inadequacy as each person is compared to an arbitrary and ever-growing goal until there is no realistic way for the employee to find happiness through natural means? Boss: That's one way to look at it.