Waste Time Comic Strips - Page 31
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1000 Results for Waste Time
View 301 - 310 results for waste time comic strips. Discover the best "Waste Time" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday July 31,
2016
Tags time, time management
Transcript
Dilbert: You asked for a breakdown of what I did this month. I wasted 25 percent of my time in useless meetings. I spent 33 percent of my time listening to co-workers complain about other co-workers. I used 11 percent to resend files I already sent. 14 percent went to dealing with a rumor you started by accident. 16 percent went toward working on the wrong things because you communicate poorly. Boss: What did you do with the 1 percent that was left? Dilbert: You just experienced it.
Wednesday September 28,
2016
Meet At My Office
Sunday October 23,
2016
Tags email, communication, response, confusion, honesty, overshare
Transcript
Man: Did you see my email? Dilbert; Did you mean your two-page document that has about twelve questions for me sprinkled throughout? Man: Yes, that's the one. Why haven't you responded? Dilbert: It's hard to answer that question while being polite. Man: You can be honest. Dilbert: Your email was such a disorganized mess that I assumed everything you do is doomed to fail. I didn't want to waste half a day deciphering it just so I could be on the losing side. With you. Man: Next time, just say you were busy. Dilbert: And I was busy.
Monday October 17,
2016
New Website Developer
Tags web, internet, site, development, code, time, deadline, coding, technology
Transcript
Boss: Our website developer quit one week before the site was scheduled to be finished. But I hired a new one so we can finish on time. Dilbert: Apparently, you have never met a website developer before. Boss: So, you will be done in about a week, right? Developer: It will take me a month just to throw away the last guy's code.
Thursday October 20,
2016
Different Time Estimates
Tags quote, estimate, time, deadline, length, pessimism
Transcript
Boss: I'm getting wildly different estimates for how long it will take to write the software. Dilbert: Based on my experience, I say take the longest estimate and multiply it by three. Boss: Is experience exactly the same as pessimism? Dilbert: Experience is much worse.
Monday January 09,
2017
Punishment By Talking
Tags deadline, time, time management, managers, perspective
Transcript
Boss: Why is your project taking so long? Dilbert; It isn't. It only seems like a long time to you because you don't know how to do anything. Boss: I know how to punish you for being late. Dilbert: Does it involve talking to me while I'm trying to work?
Sunday January 29,
2017
Tags cell phone, conversation, meeting, business, technology
Transcript
Why isn't anyone else here yet? Did you tell them you changed the meeting time? I asked you to tell everyone. That isn't my job. Then why didn't you tell me you weren't going to do it?!! It isn't my job to tell you what isn't my job. Now this meeting is a waste of my time. Does your job description tell you to attend meetings that are worthless? I didn't know there were other kinds.
Sunday June 25,
2017
Tags time machine, time travel, experiment, algorithm, planning, mistake, error, science
Transcript
Boss; Ted, we need a volunteer to test the time machine prototype. Ted: Is it safe? Boss: Of course it is. Would I ask you to risk your life if it were not safe? Ted: Yes. Boss: Oh, I didn't realize you knew that. But don't worry. The engineering consensus is that it will work. Dilbert: You will return to this exact spot in one day. Alice: Does our location algorithm account for planetary movement? Ted: I should have asked more questions.
Friday October 27,
2017
Troll Has No Job
Tags troll, trolling, social media, twitter, tweet, time, technology
Transcript
Boss: This troll on twitter refuses to let me have the last word. What kind of job does this idiot have that he can do this all day long??? Give me a few minutes here. Wally: Take your time.
Sunday January 28,
2018
Tags assignment, deadline, free time, death march, payment, salary, pay check, bonus, non caring, cold, heartless monster, no sense shame, money
Transcript
The boss: I need this finished by Friday. Dilbert: This assignment will suck up 100% of my free time and turn my happy life into a f=death march. The boss: Thats why we pay you. You pay me so you can ruin my life? The boos: perhaps i said that wrong. The Boss: what I meant is that I don't care how you fell as long as I get my bonus. Dilbert: You're a cold, heartless monster with no sense of shame!!!! The Boss: That why they pay me.


