Asok Comic Strips - Page 32
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Character
963 Results for Asok
View 311 - 320 results for Asok comic strips. Discover the best "Asok" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday November 21,
2003
Tags status reprrts, costs of projects, business plan, budget, throw on pile
Transcript
Asok: "Lately I am overcome with doubt that you read my status reports." The Boss: "Asok, the biggest value of a status report is that it makes you consider all the costs of your project." Assok: "Actually, that is the biggest value of a business plan or a budget." The Boss: "Whatever. Throw it on the pile."
Friday December 05,
2003
Tags fist of death, foot of death, doctor, exam room, dont use, Advice, health, carpal syndrome, medical
Transcript
Doctor: You've got a bad case of carpal punchel syndrome. Doctor: Don't use your "fist of death" for a few weeks. Alice: GAAA!!! Wally: the "Foot of death" is not the same. Asok: It is only slightly menacing.
Wednesday December 24,
2003
Tags downsized, gag gifts, goodby lunch, not retired, tuesday, party, gifts, mean soirited, office party
Transcript
CaroL; "I scheduled your goodbye lunch for Tuesday." Alice: "I can't make it on Tuesday." Carol: "It's too late to change it. Everyone already bought your gag gifts." Alice: "Gag gifts?? I'm not retiring; I got downsized!" Asok: "Congratulations, Alice! Hee-hee!!"
Saturday January 03,
2004
Tags office relocation., new cubicle, less roomy, need butter, torso, slide in, attracts rats, cheap, low budget
Transcript
Office relocation. Asok: Your new cubicle is less roomy than the old one. You will need this butter. Apply it liberally to your torso area and you can slide right in. But don't stay in there for more than 10 minutes at a time because it attracts rats.
Tuesday January 27,
2004
Tags deadly safety flaw, stock plunge, massive layoffs, ruined career, dead customers, hardest
Transcript
Asok: "Wally, I discovered a deadly safety flaw in our product. Who should I inform?" Wally: "No one. The stock would plunge and we'd have massive layoffs. Your career would be ruined." Asok: "But my negligence could cause the deaths of a dozen customers." Wally: "The first dozen is always the hardest."
Wednesday January 28,
2004
Tags products saftyproblem, murderer, killer, swallowed a squirrel, scone
Transcript
Ask: "Alice, if I fail to blow the whistle on our product's safety product, I will be like a murderer!" Alice: "No, technically you'd be more like a killer, you wuss." Asok: "My guts feel like I swallowed a squirrel." Alice: "You have totally sucked the flavor out of this scone."
Thursday January 29,
2004
Tags safety law, ceo, email ceo, blah blah blah, negligence, people die, products safety
Transcript
Asok: If you refuse to do something about our products safety flaw I will be forced to contact our CEO! The Boss: try it, Asok: This email will make him drop every thing and call me. CEO: Hundreds wil die....Blah, Blah , Blah...wahtever. forward the message to that pointy haired guy.
Tuesday March 16,
2004
Tags over paid, 4 dollars, honest, reports mistake, bowels of bureaucarzy, correct injustice
Transcript
ASOK: There is an error on my tiny paycheck. It is four dollars too much. The Boss: Gasp! Now you must travel to the bowels of the bureaucracy to correct the injustice, Asok: or I could just keep it as a reward for my honesty. The Boss: Bowles I say!!
Wednesday March 17,
2004
Tags bowels of bureaucarzy, payroll error, crawling, underground, trolls, bugs, bones, glaring, hellish
Transcript
Asok: I don't like the looks of this. BUREACRACY ASOK: I only want to correct a small payroll error. Can you help me? Troll: does it help if I glare ar you for disturbing my lunch?
Thursday March 18,
2004
Tags trolls, hell, payroll system, automated sadistic, phone system, tech support, complicated
Transcript
Asok: Are you the troll that handles our payroll system? I have a problem. Troll: problems are handled by our automated sadistic phone system. ASOK: For tech support, press the exact value of 22 divided by 7

